PATH: BS | Business | Advertising

Gorilla Glue: The Toughest Advertising Snowjob on Earth

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They advertise their product as "The toughest glue on earth." Really? Well, it took a competitor, Elmers, to challenge this claim and take it to the National Advertising Division of the Better Business Bureau. Gorrilla, if you're making that claim, you can back it up right?

Wait until you hear their response...

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Geologist Fired/Re-Hired After Refusing to Peddle Propaganda

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A Canadian scientist fired for lampooning an order to call Stephen Harper's Tory government "Canada's new government'' is back on the job.

Geologist Andrew Okulitch said Tuesday he was reinstated as a scientist emeritus with the Geological Survey of Canada after a call from the deputy minister of natural resources.

The 64-year-old Saltspring Island resident, who has worked for the federal government for 35 years, said he was fired Sept. 5 after he e-mailed an undiplomatic response to a government directive.

The government memo ordered him to use the phrase "new government of Canada'' on official correspondence from the Geological Survey of Canada.

Okulitch immediately fired off an e-mail saying civil servants are not paid to mouth political slogans.

He said the policy was "ridiculous and embarrassing'' and said he will use Geological Survey of Canada in any official correspondence "as opposed to idiotic buzzwords coined by political hacks.''

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Ron English's Popaganda

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[Activists]
Ron English puts up illegal billboards, so he has only one way of knowing if it has been a good day.

"I consider it a success if I don't go to jail," he explained. He should know. He has had two very unsuccessful days in the past.

You may have seen Mr. English, a 43-year-old father of two, wandering around the streets of Manhattan or New Jersey with a bucket of glue, a set of rollers and a crew of accomplices. He plasters his original paintings in broad daylight on billboards he does not own. This is a conscious decision, because billboarding in the dark would only look more suspicious. "If you're out at night," he said, "it's obvious that you're not supposed to be there."

It is worth being careful. Though he has posted more than 1,000 illicit signs, Mr. English says he has been chased while half-drunk by the police in Texas, has been the object of death threats and barely escaped an angry mob in Jersey City.

Mr. English is not a run-of-the-mill graffiti maker. He is widely recognized in the art world as one of the earliest and most celebrated in a line of "culture jammers"--

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Vegas Slogan Responsible For Increased Crime?

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"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" ...except sometimes it also stays on your police record, according to an area Sheriff when explaining the increased crime in the Nevada area.

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Gold Rush: The Latest Scheme To Get People To Watch Commercials

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[Get-Rich-Quick]
Mark Burnett, creator of the Survivor and The Apprentice reality shows, and AOL have teamed with CBS to create a web-based treasure hunt titled "Gold Rush". The idea behind the series is that clues will be embedded on various web sites and within commercials on CBS. Burnett seems to think that the quest for hidden gold buillon throughout the country will entice users to watch commercials, if not actually Tivo them and watch them over and over to get clues.

Personally, I'm convinced that Burnett doesn't have a clue either.

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Oil Company PAC Launches Pro-Pollution Ad Campaign

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"Carbon Dioxide... they call it pollution, we call it life."

The Competitive Enterprise Institute, a political action group funded by oil companies, is launching an aggressive campaign designed to snowjob people into thinking that global warming may not actually be going on, and that the pollution from oil companies and related industries is a good thing. Just how low will the oil companies stoop? How gullible do they expect the populace to be? Check out this commercial and see for yourself.

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Peter Parker Drives a Dodge Caliber?

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[Entertainment]
Superheroes like Superman and Spider-Man can save mankind from natural disasters, space aliens and evil mutants. But there's one thing they are powerless to stop: Advertisers shilling products within the pages of the comic books they call home.

Both Marvel and DC comics have now signed deals to include product placement within the stories and characters of their comics. Marvel has begun polluting scenes with Nike logos while DC will have superheroes driving cars like the Pontiac Solstice, which some advertising douche claims is analagous to James Bond's Aston Martin. Yea right. Maybe the next Speed Racer will have him competing against Racer X in a Subaru Impreza.

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Indy Rockers Turn Down Hummer Endorsements

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[Activists]
The Thermals, a rambunctious rock band from Portland, Ore., were en route between gigs last year when they got a phone call from their label, Sub Pop. Hummer wanted to pay them $50,000 for the right to use their song "It's Trivia" in a commercial.

"We thought about it for about 15 seconds, maybe," lead singer Hutch Harris said. They said no.

These guys aren't alone. Many groups in music are not keen on having their art exploited to promote the gas-guzzling road behemoth that is Humvee, at any price.

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McDonald's Food Sucks Even More??

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[Junk Food]
Not long after disclosing that its french fries contain more trans fat than thought, McDonald's Corp. said Monday that wheat and dairy ingredients are used to flavor the popular menu item--an acknowledgment it had not previously made.

The presence of those substances can cause allergic or other medical reactions in food-sensitive consumers.

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New Orleans Puts Mardi Gras Up For Sale

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For the first time in Carnival’s 150-year history, city and krewe leaders will seek corporate sponsors to underwrite the huge cost of staging “the Greatest Free Show on Earth.”

Any acceptable company that steps forward with $2 million to help pay for police overtime, fire protection, and sanitation during next year’s abbreviated eight-day Carnival will be crowned the “official sponsor of Mardi Gras 2006,” the Mayor Ray Nagin’s office said.

In a related story, Nagin has announced that Easter is for sale for $350,000, Christmas is offered at $1 Million and there's a two-for-one special on St. Patrick's Day and Passover.

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GOP "Swiftboats" Democratic Challengers

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The Virginia governor's race has heated up with the republicans launching a pretty vicious attack ad against the democratic candidate. Set against a black back-drop, the father of a man whose son and daughter-in-law were murdered, speaks passionately about how Tim Kaine "voluntarily" defended the murderer, ignoring the fact that Tim Kaine was court-appointed, and that the kids were apparently murdered in a drug deal gone bad. Of course, yes, the Republicans also imply that the democratic candidate is sympathetic to Hitler. Good quality BS here. Check out the video.

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Military Recruitment Ads Target Parents

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In an effort to deal with continually-declining enlistment rates, the military is changing its strategy. It's latest ad campaign features a proud father who is impressed his son, returning from service, looks him in the eye and shakes his hand. A sharp contrast from traditional PSA's directed at parents that encourage them to protect their children from harm like drugs, alcohol and sex, the army's newest campaign promotes military service as some kind of "attitude adjustment system" in order to motivate parents to encourage their children to enlist.

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Dell Forced to Honor Goofed-Up Hard Drive Ad

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In Australia, Dell produced an advertisement selling 250G hard drives for AUS$8.80 instead of AUS$600.00. As a result, there was a rush of orders and Dell apparently claimed there was an error with the price, but enter the Australian Fair Trading body which may force Dell to honor the original advertised price.

Apparently, Dell can usually get out of this by slapping up a "We're not responsible for mistakes" disclaimer on their web sites, and other countries honor this, but the cool Australians don't accept such catch-all liability waivers and are forcing Dell to honor the terms they laid out. Makes you want to move to Australia where they actually hold a company's feet to the fire when they mislead consumers.

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Sony Caught Paying Off Stations For Pop Act Airplay

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[Music]
You ever wonder who that mysterious "9th caller" is who wins the Celine Dion tickets in the radio station giveaway? Maybe there is no 9th caller. Maybe it's all part of an elaborate payola scam?

I know you're probably thinking why would Sony need to pay radio stations to play such great music from artists like Jennifer Lopez, Good Charlotte and Avril Lavine, but it's true.

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J.D. Power & Associates: Biggest Whore In Its Class

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Take a look at almost any ad for cars or cell phones these days, and you'll see one or more awards from J.D. Power and Associates suggesting a track record of quality and reliability.

Unfortunately all this really suggests is that some company paid J.D. Power and Associates money so they could get an ambiguous marketing reference from a company that has more conflicts of interest than Rush Limbaugh opening a chain of Pharmacies.

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Pimp Out Terry Bradshaw For Only $29k

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[Viral Marketing]
"For the bargain-basement price of $29,000, your company could be touted by the Hall of Fame quarterback in slots on CNBC and MSNBC," writes PR Week's Julia Hood, about Terry Bradshaw's "Winners Circle" and "Pick of the Week" TV segments. The segments praise companies for their "forward thinking and consistent principles," in what may seem like "a neutral third-party endorsement," but is actually "a paid placement that inconsistently identifies itself as such." The segments are produced by Broadcast News Corporation (BNC), which also pays to air them on MSNBC, CNBC and CNN Headline News. "We're doing this so we can tell a good story about companies," said one BNC producer. PR Week found that MSNBC either ran "a subtle disclaimer" or none at all marking the segments as paid commercial programming.

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Cute Outfits for your Penis

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If you find that ordinary boxers or g-strings shaped like elephants aren't jazzy enough, you can relax...the good people at Durex Condoms have created "dickorations."

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Army Psy-Ops To Produce Comic To "Achieve Peace In Middle East."

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[Military]
The BBC (currently the most reliable source of American news) is reporting that an advertisement on the US government's Federal Business Opportunities website is inviting applications for someone to develop an "original comic book series... in order to achieve long-term peace and stability in the Middle East, the youth need to be reached..."

All those peace talks; all that money, and perhaps all we really needed was some sort of Arabic Spiderman?

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Big Game Hunting In Suburbia

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[Activists]
The web site says, This campaign is designed to tell the world what we think of those mindless suburban drones who insist on getting 12 mpg while driving their kids to soccer practice. Join us as we direct our social activist energies toward the exciting new sport of Big Game SUV Hunting.

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Napster Ads Don't Reveal Their Misleading Scheme

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[Faulty Products]
Napster has been running some interesting ads comparing their service to iTunes. They claim it would cost thousands of dollars to fill up an iPod but with Napster, you can pay a small monthly fee and get all the music you want. What they don't want you to know apparently, is if you stop paying the subscription, all the music you've downloaded ceases to function everywhere. Nice move Napster. Sleazy. Very Sleazy.

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US Soldiers given "Talking Points" cards for dealing with press

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[Military]
Media training has increased for U.S. forces going to Iraq, reports Editor & Publisher, "becoming mandatory for Army troops since October" and taking "higher priority" for Marines. The training involves "one or two hours of briefings by public-affairs specialists." Soldiers "are urged to speak with the press as a way of promoting the positive elements of the operation, but not to lie or speak about issues with which they are not familiar." Soldiers are also given regularly updated, wallet-sized "talking point" cards, "to keep up with the conflict's changing issues and the proximity of embedded reporters." The North Carolina News & Observer reported that one talking point given to troops at Fort Bragg was, "We are not an occupying force."

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Darth Tater rises to consume the toy world with the dark side

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For the Star Wars fan who thought he had everything, do you have the new Darth Vader Mr. Potatohead from Hasbro? Un huh. I thought so.

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Vintage cigarette commercials

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[Faulty Products]
As we're in the New Year, and many have likely made the resolution of stopping smoking, we thought it would be amusing to share a collection of vintage TV commercials featuring celebrities promoting cigarettes. You've come a long way, Baby.

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Stealth marketing: the next wave of advertising?

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The advtising industry is all a buzz about what many perceive to be the next big thing in marketing: Stealth Advertising. With consumers tuning out the constant bombardment of messages in the media, companies are engaging in sneaky methods such as blogs and chat rooms and pseudo-sincere product endorsements online in an effort to cajole consumers into buying their brands. What do you think? Let's discuss the topic over a nice hot cup of General Foods International Coffees(tm).

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Cortislim "Doctor" on TV accused of being total fake

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The latest diet-pill-of-the-week ads bombarding people on TV and radio have come under fire from a number of critics claiming its spokesperson, "Doctor" Greg Cynaumon, has dubious credentials and references. The self-proclaimed "Doctor" promoting this amazing new weight-loss pill, while at the same time asking lemming consumers to take his word that it works and not weigh themselves, seems to have a mysterious Phd degree from a University that the Los Angeles times called a "diploma mill" that went bankrupt years ago. People have questioned the legitimacy of not only the "Doctor's" credentials, but almost all of his references, previous publications and cited studies which supposedly reinforce the claim of this new product's value.

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New documentary exposes the underside of advertising

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"As long as we become uncritical consumers who trust our irrational, visceral gut feeling over intellect, [marketers and advertisers] will be able to reach us through all the din of messages, and get us to do what they want us to do," said Barak Goodman, one of the producers of the new public television documentary "The Persuaders." The documentary "examines the advertising arms race that's left the American landscape carpet-bombed with marketing and promotional clutter.

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Delicious Holiday Beverages

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It's true--the Jones Soda Company is releasing its latest holiday dinner beverage pack.

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Wendy's fires "unofficial spokesman"

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[Junk Food]
Wendy's is officially saying goodbye to the character in their latest lame ad campaign, "Mr. Unofficial Wendy's Spokesman". Oh, it's so sad.

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Dept of Homeland Security: keeping you safe via public relations

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A leaked draft public relations plan for the Department of Homeland Security's Customs and Border Protection bureau suggested "repeating the message, in the weeks leading up to the presidential election, that America is safer," reports the Washington Post. The plan's objective is "to change perception through continuous, consistent and highly credible information." It suggests using "surrogates" to spread messages, and adopting a "theme of the month": "Border Patrol" in October, "Agriculture" in November, and "Trade" in December. The PR plan also proposed pitching stories to the Washington Times editorial board and "morning shows," with an exclusive "FOX 3-4 part series ... Geraldo or as backup Dr. Bob Arnot with MSNBC."

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New Bush ad features human clones!

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Well, this is either fine photoshop work, or evidence that the Bush administration is successfully involved in human cloning. Pick your irony.


A new bush advertisement, entitled "Whatever it takes" further promotes Bush's "stay the course" line of reasoning in the war against terror. Ironically, the ad's manufactured backdrop of cut-and-paste soldier images also reflects Bush's ongoing desire to fabricate a fantasy world, regardless of its accuracy, and foist it on the American people.

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Republicans speak out

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Interested in hearing a whole lot of people who voted for Bush last time explain why they're not going to vote for Bush this year? Check out Errol Morris's series of ads; some were aired on TV, but most were not.

If you want to hear from the other side of the fence, you can always pop over to Zell Miller's site.

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Video game manufacturers test placing ads in games

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[Media]
Video game company Activision plans on embedding advertising and product placement in the latest version of their popular Tony Hawk skateboarding games. The deal inked with Chrysler and Jeep purposes to promote the Jeep brand while Nielsen will gauge consumers acceptance of the new ploy. Now if we can smash the Jeeps to bits, roll them over and expose the true size of the drivers' genitals in the game, I think they may be on to something.

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Bush brand "Flip Flops" - they're hawt!

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[Humor]
Graphic designers take a creative approach towards the political season and bring even more meaning to the term "flip-flop."

Personally, I really dig the new "Homeland Security Flip-Flops" - comfy and they come in colors so you can always tell what the terror level is by looking at your feet.

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Ticketmaster is on crack

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The other night my friends and I purchased tickets to see Ani Defranco. Two days later we get an invite via Ticketmaster promoting Toby Keith's tour!

I do not understand why a big company like this would think that anyone who would attend an Ani Defranco concert would also be interested in inbred, redneck, chauvenist, conservative country music sucksation, Toby Keith! Ticketmaster must be on crack.

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Jesus Saves! (0.40/gal on regular unleaded)

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The Main Place Christian Fellowship in Los Angeles came up with a novel new Christian recruitment/church promotion idea: collect $5000 and make a deal with a local gas station to drop the price of fuel for motorists who don't mind getting preached to while they fill-up their tank.

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IOC ever-vigilant against "advertising terrorism"

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[Olympics]
Athens seems like a pretty cool place to be for the Olympics, but it seems a lot of people are upset about the International Olympic Committee's obsessively facist rules to enforce what they call "Clean Venue Policy" - a nice way of saying you can't have even the slightest mention of products/logos that may conflict with a paying sponsor. One frustrated atendee said, "I was asked to turn my shirt inside out at the entrance to a match, because the logo was too large and I was sitting in front-row seats, where the TV cameras would have caught sight of me for sure,"

It's bad enough koke has taken over the event and forced even the althetes themselves to drink from label-stripped cans and bottles if they're not of a particular brand, but the IOC has gone even more overboard, policing everything from computer screen savers to spare change.

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'We Employ America' (at least 65% of the time)

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Milwaukee-based ad firm Catral Doyle Creative is launching the "We Employ America" campaign, described as "a market-driven, consumer focused program ... designed to pool the resources of enrolled American manufacturers to inform consumers that, by choosing to purchase products from WEA member companies, they are supporting American jobs and economic stability." What's interesting is that in order to become a member of WEA, you only have to have produced 65% of your product in America. I guess We Employ 13/20th of America didn't sound as catchy? CNN had no problems airing the commercials for their "American campaign". Surprise.

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Clear Channel refuses to run "peace ad"

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A group of antiwar advocates is accusing Clear Channel Communications, one of the nation's largest media companies, with close ties to national Republicans, of preventing the group from displaying a Times Square billboard critical of the war in Iraq. The highly controversial concept, a message merely stating "Democracy Is Best Taught by Example, Not by War" was turned down by the fascist Clear Channel.

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