PATH: BS | Business | Merchandising | Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers

Surviving Whole Foods

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[Humor]
[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
HuffPo columnist and comedian, Kelly MacLean has written a hilarious article on Whole Foods..

Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.

Unlike Vegas, Whole Foods' clientele are all about mindfulness and compassion... until they get to the parking lot. Then it's war. As I pull up this morning, I see a pregnant lady on the crosswalk holding a baby and groceries. This driver swerves around her and honks. As he speeds off I catch his bumper sticker, which says 'NAMASTE'. Poor lady didn't even hear him approaching because he was driving a Prius. He crept up on her like a panther.

As the great, sliding glass doors part I am immediately smacked in the face by a wall of cool, moist air that smells of strawberries and orchids. I leave behind the concrete jungle and enter a cornucopia of organic bliss; the land of hemp milk and honey. Seriously, think about Heaven and then think about Whole Foods; they're basically the same.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2014-12-09 13:05:35 | Comment on this Article

Seven Dumb Things About The World's Smartest Toilet

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[Eureka!]
[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
What happens when Kohler makes a $6,400 toilet? Someone has to make fun of it...

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Improve your pool table for only $200 grand

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[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
[Sports]
In these times of depression, *cough*, excuse me "recession", I'm sure many of us are thinking, "I've got an extra two hundred thousand dollars to blow making my pool table look really cool. What can I do?"

We've got your answer.

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Mastercard Issues Diamond-Encrusted Credit Card

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[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
Markets are plunging, banks are collapsing and talk of recession is all about, but the global gloom is not stopping the launch of a MasterCard credit card inlaid with a diamond and laced with gold.

Known as the “Diamond”, the card has a 0.02-carat gem ­embedded in its centre and a picture of a peacock for female cardholders and a winged horse for men.

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New Mexico Features Talking Urinal Cakes

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[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
[Psychology]
New Mexico is hoping to keep drunk drivers off the road by lecturing them at the last place they usually stop before getting behind the wheel: the urinal.

The state recently paid $21 each for about 500 talking urinal-deodorizer cakes and has put them in bathrooms in bars and restaurants across the state.

When a guy steps up, the motion-sensitive plastic device says, in a woman's voice that is flirty, then stern: "Hey, big guy. Having a few drinks? Think you had one too many? Then it's time to call a cab or call a sober friend for a ride home."

The recorded message ends: "Remember, your future is in your hand."

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2007-07-08 10:52:54 | Comment on this Article

FINALLY: Beer for Dogs

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[Pets]
[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
You love your dog. You feed him premium dog food. He's got a little sweater for when it's cold, and a little raincoat for when it's raining. He has snow boots, and little sunglasses so he can look cool. His doggy bed contains flea-fighting (and great-smelling!) cedar chips, and it's designed to cushion his arthritic joints. You spend more on shampoo and conditioner for him than you spend on yourself. You buy him doggy cookies for treats; maybe in summer, you buy him some of that delicious doggy ice cream.

But you lead a hollow, empty existence. And so does your dog. Because you can't--sob!--share a nice frosty mug of beer with him. Oh, the humanity!

Until now.

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How Does a Brain Damaged Child Cross The Road? Heeleys!

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[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
A New Jersey family is suing the maker of those annoying tennis-shoe-hidden-skate shoes after their 10 year old boy crossed the street in them, slipped and was hit by a car and now has brain damage.

No word if the brain damage was caused by the car, or inherited from his parents.

READ MORE | 5 comments since 2009-07-20 21:10:40 | Comment on this Article

The Diamond Deception: What DeBeers Doesn't Want You To Know

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[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond?

The diamond invention—the creation of the idea that diamonds are rare and valuable, and are essential signs of esteem—is a relatively recent development in the history of the diamond trade. Read about how an effective ad campaign has made these not-so-valuable items seem more precious than they really are.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2010-07-13 12:17:26 | Comment on this Article

Shoes That Grow

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[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
[Sports]
The web site says, "Built right into INCHworm shoes is the iFit technology. The iFit technology allows you to GROW the size of the shoe with a simple push of the button."

I bet Bruce Banner would dig a pair of those.

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A Blast of Flavor--The Latest In Ammunition

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[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
Don't you just hate it when this happens?

You go out hunting on a beautiful, crisp fall day. You and your buddies bag a couple of fat ducks, or maybe a wild turkey perfect for Thanksgiving. But when you get home, you have to dig all that nasty buckshot out before you can fire up the grill. And if you miss a piece...ouch! my tooth!

Well, those days are over, friend, now that there's Season Shot...bird shot made from spices.

Yes, Season Shot, the shotgun ammo made from tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food product, is on its way, hunters! It's also environment-friendly; instead of lining the local marshes with thousands of tiny pellets of lead or steel, you'll be seasoning them up for the local wildlife! No longer must waterfowl and deer go without the addition of a little bit of lemon-pepper flavoring to go with that marsh grass.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2006-11-03 14:23:42 | Comment on this Article

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