Mike Meyers' Bad Kharma: The Love Guru
Posted by Pile
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[Beating Dead Horses]
|Another box office bomb, Mike Meyer's "Love Guru" has set new and interesting standards for how creative various reviewers can pan this $64 Million Dollar toilet-joke-fest. We pick our favorite lines from hundreds of movie reviews...
In the past few weeks there has been a minor flap over whether Mike Myers' "The Love Guru," in which Myers stars as a publicity-hungry spiritual enlightenment expert, is offensive to Hindus. Never mind the Hindus; "The Love Guru" is offensive to pretty much anyone with a brain.
To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious. The word “unfunny” surely applies to Mr. Myers’s obnoxious attempts to find mirth in physical and cultural differences but does not quite capture the strenuous unpleasantness of his performance. No, “The Love Guru” is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.
- New York Times
The Love Guru is a skit that starts out promising but loses momentum as it goes on and on and on… Occasional bursts of comedy keep things from becoming unbearable but whenever Myers tries to get even a little serious or advance the "plot," the desire to take a nap becomes almost overpowering.
Myers has made some funny movies, but this film could have been written on toilet walls by callow adolescents. Every reference to a human sex organ or process of defecation is not automatically funny simply because it is naughty, but Myers seems to labor under that delusion. He acts as if he’s getting away with something, but in fact all he’s getting away with is selling tickets to a dreary experience.
- Roger Ebert
It's a rare film that makes a reviewer consider giving up the movies altogether. My own Waterloo came forty-five minutes into "The Love Guru" when I briefly considered stabbing out my own eyes so that I wouldn't have to watch it any more.
I would say that The Love Guru is disappointing, but the flick's dismal trailer lowered my expectations to such a degree that disappointment was rendered all but impossible.
- Reelz Channel
An oh-my-God-level disaster that’ll make you wonder if Hollywood actually hates us
- Time Out new York
Somewhere, sitting in a room cluttered with Mr. Pibb cans and half-consumed bags of Funyuns is the adolescent writing staff responsible for The Love Guru. Sure, Mike Myers and Graham Gordy are listed on the credits as creating this penis-obsessed dreck, but only sexually confused and hormonally hyperactive teenagers would dream up humor this draped in bodily functions, schoolyard taunts, and juvenile joke names. When it's not finding new ways to reference guy parts, it's wallowing in a kind of flawed Freudian fixation that has every orifice present and providing punchlines.
The Love Guru isn’t actively unpleasant, but that’s about the best I can say for it.
Myers’ attempt to poke fun at self-help books and such is too infantile to have any bite. There’s a limit to the number of times you can reference a man’s groin area in order to get an easy laugh, and The Love Guru quickly surpasses the penis threshold early on. Myers’ Austin Powers films were for the most part smart and snappy, though they also included cracks about body parts and physical appearances. With The Love Guru, Myers steers clear of intelligence and wit in favor of stooping to jokes aimed at pre-teen boys, making this summertime release a complete waste of time, effort, and talent.
The Love Guru is enraptured by bathroom humor that doesn't even reach sophomoric standards. It's more on the level of preschool. This send-up of feel-good, inspirational wisdom with a decidedly Indian flavor might have made a clever Saturday Night Live sketch. But as a movie, it's a silly spoof that is occasionally funny but grows tedious with excessive mugging and bad punning.
- USA Today
Every summer, there’s at least one movie that critics all over the world are dreading, and this year, that movie is “The Love Guru.” The Mike Myers comedy has already earned its share of protests from those who feel the actor's latest character promotes a negative ethnic stereotype, but that has very little to do with whether or not the movie is any good. We critics have been proven wrong before with films that are not only better than expected, but actually quite enjoyable, yet while “The Love Guru” had the potential to surprise, it’s just as terrible as we anticipated.
I was reading how Hindus were going to boycott "The Love Guru" because of its offensive portrayal of their people. I can assure you this - Hindus should not be the only ones offended. Hockey fans should be offended. Roosters should be offended. Midgets should be offended. Penises should be offended. Dolly Parton should be offended. Elephants should be offended. Jessica Alba's boobs should be offended. Hell, I think it's just easier if I just say the entire world should be offended. It's that bad of a movie.
- Empire Movies
There are good movies. There are bad movies. There are movies so bad they're good (though, strangely, not the reverse). And once in a while there is a movie so bad that it takes you to a place beyond good and evil and abandons you there, shivering and alone. Watching The Love Guru is a spiritual experience of a sort, but not the sort that its creator and star, Mike Myers, intended. This tale of a guru who brings joy to all who meet him is the most joy-draining 88 minutes I've ever spent outside a hospital waiting room. In the course of those long minutes, Myers leads you on a journey deep inside himself, to the source from whence his comedy springs—and it's about as much fun as a tour of someone's large intestine.
|Bad arse at Law
Posted by Al on 2008-06-24 15:15:00
|Bwah ha ha ha - MAN - these reviews made me laugh more than any film I've seen in a long time!
|My Personal Review
Posted by The_Rationalist on 2008-06-24 15:17:09
|I have three words for Mike and anybody else invovled in this wreck. Witness Protection Program. Seriously, this was worse than Meet the Spartans, Superhero Movie, Epic Movie, Date Movie, and Mike Huckabee's "joke" at the NRA. Comedically, it's about on the same level as an orphanage burning down.
|Posted by Gliscameria on 2008-06-24 17:05:44
|I hear there's an orphanage burning scene coming on the DVD. It should be out in a few days by the look of it.