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The real meaning behind the abbreviations in personal ads
FIRST THE WOMEN
40-ish.................. 48
Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic................ Flat-chested
Average looking......... Ugly
Beautiful............... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin
Educated................ College dropout
Emotionally Secure...... Medicated
Feminist................ Fat; ball buster
Free spirit............. Substance user
Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun..................... Annoying
Gentle.................. Comatose
Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic
New-Age................. All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded............. Desperate
Outgoing................ Loud
Passionate.............. Loud
Poet.................... Depressive Schzophrenic
Professional............ Real Witch
Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section
Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat
Romantic................ Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous............. Very Fat
Weight proportional to height..................Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking
Widow................... Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart.......... Toothless crone
THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST
40-ish.................. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking......... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................ Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit............. Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun..................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking............ Arrogant
Honest.................. Pathological Liar
Huggable................ Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle.......... Insecure, overly dependent
Mature.................. Until you get to know him
Open-minded............. Wants to sleep with your sister but she's
not interested
Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror
admiring myself
Poet.................... Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual............... Once went to church with his grandmother.
on Easter Sunday
Stable.................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful.............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer
Internet Dating & Crossing-street kids Posted by yahoopersonal on 2007-09-18 16:10:22
I have an experience with putting out an ad on Yahoo in 1999(when it was still free), I was also 18 at that time. I put out an ad with "Looking for an Honest Guy" as the title but really my reason for listing an ad was not for a date or to catch a guy (believe me that was the farthest from my mind at that point). I had, had a very bad day that day I was in the mad at the world phase at the point I typed it up. I basically bashed all guys in my ad (among other people, places ect.). I also put the ad out just to get a good laugh the next day. I think I got about 3 or 4 people from that ad all honest. One guy wanted sex only(at least he came out with it right? lol)we actually chatting nothing big I got alot of laughs from him (he wasn't that bad of a guy but not what I would ever date), the next was an 80 year old guy from West Virginia asking me to be his breeder and pop out a few kids for him (LOL I think I laughed the most at this one, I never replied to him he was just scary), the third was my future husband (no joke) I actually found him through this ad after bashing guys in it and all LOL. He is the most honest guy you could find, he was for the most part normal, we chatted for about 2 or 3 months before I gave in and and met him. We have been married for 6 years coming up on 7 years. So see you do get lucky sometimes, I got lucky even without trying.
On to the other issue about crossing the street what we told my step-son (when he was younger) and our son is make sure you have an adults hand, look both ways. We also threw in how that if the ran out into the street (or walked)and got hit they would end up in the hospital, would get stuck with all kinds of needles, might not be able to walk, ect ect ect. So we did the scare tactic with them it has worked for the most part both hate needles and going to the doctor.
Posted by Pile on 2007-09-18 16:25:19
Thanks for the interesting story!
dirty female wanted 35-40 Posted by jacko on 2007-09-18 16:28:20
i seek a woman with a low casual moral attitude and i seek her right bloody now email me fer gawds sake
Posted by Hmm on 2007-10-05 15:24:13
Why do nine of the female categories have to do with negative physical appearance, when only two of the male categories do?
Posted by pbs on 2016-01-12 15:03:15
I think none of them are flattering and there are plenty of male ones that imply unattractiveness.. its all subjective anyway
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