Former Farmhand Turns Beloved Cows Into Furniture

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Helga Tacreiter loves cows. A lot. While working for a farm she came to love the big, soft, lets-face-it-kinda-stupid quadrapeds, but most decidedly did not love watching them marched off to be separated into their component parts. So she started a cow sanctuary. Not having a lot of money, however, she needed a way to PAY for her sanctuary-- but how?

Having exchanged six months wages for her first herd of six calves, she urgently needed to come up with some kind of plan. Like Newton sitting under his apple tree, Helga sat snuggled in hay against her cows (not like that, you sick freaks) when she struck upon the idea. She'd make giant stuffed versions of her cows to sell as furniture. So began the best thing to happen to sitting down since those obnoxious swiss ergonomic doohickeys-- The Cowch. Using her favorite cow as a modelling dummy (cow and dummy having similar intellectual capacity), she took some fake fur and turned it into her first cowch. Ranging in price from $300 (for the "newborn") to $800 ("adult", natch), she has used these suckers to fund her cow sanctuary for EIGHTEEN YEARS. I wonder if people would buy stuffed versions of me (it would be called the Billow, and it would be as soft and padded as I am in real life) so I can sit around all day and watch the Price is Right.

Buy your own cowch




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