Selling Girlfriend's Laptop On EBay

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[Humor]
Hey, let's say you want to buy a laptop cheap, but you'd also like some interesting provenance behind it? Well sit down and hear the story of the spurned boyfriend's ebay auction...

The auction says:

The auction is for a Dell Latitude D600. 60GB HD, 1 GB memory, Dual Band Wi-Fi, Very light scratches on the top, Screen is scratch free and shows up crystal clear. She took good care of the laptop. It has all the newest updates, and comes with office, Roxio and other programs. Just an all around good laptop to have. I bought this as a gift for my ex.


What is included in winning this auction is not only the laptop, but also everything else she left. Right now it is the laptop, the bag some cables, the power supply, some personal items, sunglasses, clothes and a book "the story of O". I will be cleaning my place this weekend so the bounty will grow.

This is the last of the crap my ex girlfriend has left at my place. She left me for an older guy she met on dumm dum duuu...my space. A 30 year old guy on MySpace hitting on 21 yr old woman. Whatever, hey props to him for being able to pull it off.
I figure what more fitting way to totally get rid of her then online.

I met this wonderful pain in my ass from a friend of mine (who I haven’t talked to since). It was his niece, and she had just moved out here from Kansas. At first glance she seemed perfect. She played guitar, was gorgeous, and was a monster in the sac.

The only glaring issue is that she smoked weed. A LOT. Every day.

She could cause her uncle, my friend, was pretty well off and paid for her. She had a hell of a deal, go out with me, get treated, go back to her uncle’s house, and get treated.

As time went on I found myself spending more and more on this chick and getting less and less, umm "return". After a month long dry spell I figured something was up and began paying more attention to what she was doing.

One day she said she was going shipping then out with some friends and would be home late, probably getting baked. As soon as she left,
I spent the next ten minutes going over her computer looking for emails and passwords. She left all her info in a notepad in her my docs. I started rummaging around her yahoo account and came upon some emails from "Jeff". I knew most of her friends and this one was new.

Reading them it came clear this was the dick doing my girl.

So I signed in as her to yahoo and no joke within 30 seconds I got an IM from Dick.... I mean Jeff, asking if she was still up to meet at the mall.
I went red with anger, but then calmed down and thought this is her screw up not his. So I made a deal with the devil.

Seeing that sex had gone out the window a month ago (seriously from once or twice a day to nothing) I figured if I could get any neither should he. I started chatting with him but at the end I said
" I would love to do anal tonight, but I don't like it slow, when you have me doggy style, just go for it. I will be ready all night"
He replied with a simple OK. I then said, as her, I am heading out the door now.

No surprise, she came home early, around midnight slamming the door on her way in. I hear some noise in the living room, the laptop slamming shut, and zippers opening. I came out from my bedroom and asked her what’s wrong?

Her rant consisted of maybe 3 non obscene words, so I don't think eBay would let me print them. I did catch " you told him to butt **** me! How dare you invade my privacy?" She was so pissed she grabbed her overnight bag, leaving her laptop.

That was 2 months ago and she hasn't been back since. So that is why I am selling her laptop.

I would like to get at least 400 buck to recoup all the money I spent on her. Women should come with a refund option............


 

HAHAHAHA
Posted by Mocha on 2008-08-30 14:25:25
WAY TO GO MAN! Thumbs up. ;]
 

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