The Perfect Gift For YOUR Sexual Deviant- Recommended By Judges!

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A New Jersey man (you know this story is going to involve the word "convicted" shortly) stands convicted (there it is) of arranging sexual encounters with two 14-year-olds he came into contact with through MySpace (the Internet-- Because Parents Don't Have Enough Sleepless Nights). He's been sentenced to a couple of years in the can, five years probation, and one of the cruelest punishments meted out by our justice system in recent memory...

Reading a damn BOOK. Judge Anthony S. Beltrami (who must've learned of the transformative power of the written word by reading "Oh, The Places You'll Go") has also sentenced Bret T. Lepore to read "Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory At a Time," a Bible-based book on battling your inner horn dog. If each "victory" is a day spent not having sex, then I was on a streak you wouldn't BELIEVE back in the day. No word yet on whether Lepore will be expected to make a book report or take a test (which I suppose would consist of NOT being creepy while surfing the Internet). The book's authors also host workshops and produce kits for use by horny men the world over. Interestingly enough, a kit exists called "Every Soldier's Battle" of which 44,000 have been requested by military chaplains. Sex-crazed soldiers in OUR military? I find THAT a little hard to believe.

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