PATH: BS | Business | Merchandising | Faulty Products

Amazing Diet Pill!! (Settlement Because of False Advertising)

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[Faulty Products]
Marketers of four popular diet pills have agreed to curb their advertising claims and shell out some $25 million to settle allegations by the Federal Trade Commission that they misled consumers with promises of dramatic weight loss.

In some studies, even placebos--fake pills--produced more weight loss than the diet pills themselves. CortiSlim, CortiStress, One-A-Day WeightSmart, TrimSpa, and Xenadrine EFX are accused of BS advertising claims.

In a related story, did you know that signing up as a member of BSAlert has been clinically proven to enhance the quality and longevity of your life! Try it today!

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Using Girly Oils Really Might Turn You Into A Girl!

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[Faulty Products]
Certain oils commonly referred to as "essential oils," specifically lavendar and tea tree oils, can potentially cause enlarged breasts in young boys. The condition, known as gynecomastia to scientists and a screaming nightmare to middle-school boys, occurred in three boys age 4, 7, and 10 who had been using products containing the oils. The oils can mimic the action of the female hormone estrogen, and can also block male hormones that control masculine characteristics and inhibit the growth of breast tissue.

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U.S. Launches Multi-Million Dollar Geosynchronous Paperweight

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[Faulty Products]
[Technology]
U.S. officials are unable to communicate with an expensive experimental U.S. spy satellite launched last year by the U.S. National Reconnaissance Office.

Efforts are continuing to reestablish communication with the classified satellite, which cost hundreds of millions of dollars, but "the prognosis is not great at this point," said the defense official, who asked not to be identified.

Rumor has it this colossal waste of taxpayer money might be the product of Boeing and Lockheed. But remember, if we find out which corporate contractors make crappy products, the terrorists win.

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Let's Go Fly A Kite... OF DEATH

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[Faulty Products]
Officials in Pakistan are lifting a ban on kite flying in preparation for a spring festival that is marked by the flying of colorful kites. The ban was put in place last year not because Pakistani officials hate whimsy, but because of too many kite-related FATALITIES!

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Latest E. Coli Outbreak Traced to Green Onions

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[Faulty Products]
California's farming industry is girding for another potential black eye after a second outbreak this year of a potentially deadly E. coli strain linked to its crops.

Green onions served in Taco Bell restaurants are suspected as the source of dozens of illnesses in the Eastern United States and the fast-food chain has called for an industry review of the produce supply chain stretching to California.

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Nintendo Worried About Uncoordinated Wii Users

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[Faulty Products]
With the Wii console due to be released in Europe tomorrow and already out in other major territories, Nintendo execs have acknowledged media reports of uncoordinated gamers causing damage to televisions, furniture, and even fellow players.

The next-generation, motion-sensitive controller that Nintendo's new videogame uses is apparently causing gaming nerds to flail about in their living rooms, causing damage.

Nintendo's response to the issue? It's telling gamers to "calm down."

Calm down? After you stood in line for several days in the freezing cold to pick up these units, maybe they're just flailing about to bring circulation back to their limbs?

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Adobe PDF "features" Leave Users Vulnerable

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[Faulty Products]
A British security researcher has figured out a way to manipulate legitimate features in Adobe PDF files to open back doors for computer attacks.

David Kierznowski, a penetration testing expert specializing in Web application testing, has released proof-of-concept code and rigged PDF files to demonstrate how the Adobe Reader program could be used to launch attacks without any user action.

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"Worst Ever" Flaw Found In Diebold Voting Machines

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[Faulty Products]
"This may be the worst security flaw we have seen in touch screen voting machines," says Open Voting Foundation president, Alan Dechert. Upon examining the inner workings of one of the most popular paperless touch screen voting machines used in public elections in the United States, it has been determined that with the flip of a single switch inside, the machine can behave in a completely different manner compared to the tested and certified version.

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Jiffy-Lube, Jiffy-Screwed

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[Faulty Products]
[Liars]
What happens when a news team goes undercover, wires hidden cameras inside and underneath cars and takes them in for repairs? Oh yea, well there's always a chance of some anomaly at a car repair place, but you'll be amazed apparently how rampant getting ripped off is, especially at Jiffy-Lube. Watch the video.

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Criticism of Herbal Products Squelched

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[Faulty Products]
One of the marketing success stories in the world of herbal pills is the hype and advertising that has made Tebonin one of the big-time sellers. If you believe the ads, popping a Tebonin pill a day will relieve tinnitus (the ringing sound some people have in their ears), dizziness and even improve mental alertness. The promoters claim the drug, which is based on a patented extract from the ginkgo biloba tree, improves "impaired micro-circulation," reduces "free radicals" and "promotes optimum cell function."

According to the German manufacturer, Dr. Willmar Schwabe GmbH & Co KG, eight million pills are consumed every day. Schwabe, like so many companies in the herbal supplements sector, trades on its feel-good image. "From Nature, For Health," its website claims. That's the story the company wants you to hear. However, when a small group of Australian doctors and pharmacists, AusPharm Consumer Health Watch, drafted a report raising doubts about the benefits of Tebonin, they discovered a company that was not so warm and fuzzy. Soon after sending a copy of their draft report to the company, they were hit with a writ seeking an injunction that may bury their critical assessment forever.

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