Internet Talk: Oregon Domest Terrorist Leaders Captured

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[Terroir-ism]
As the "Oregon Militia" leaders became more relaxed and emboldened to wander freely in the area near the wildlife refuse in Oregon they "occupied", the Feds swept in and arrested most of the leaders.

In response the Internet comments have been pretty funny, here is a collection of some of the best...



  • Man, I really thought they were gonna overthrow the government, one wildlife refuge at a time.

  • Its nice to know if I decide to set fire to federal land to cover up my illegal deer hunting, I can always find a group of right wing idiots to defend my "constitutional right" to not be arrested.

  • The first rule of occupation is you have to keep occupying for it to work.

  • But what if you run out of Medicine? And French Vanilla creamer? And Throw Rugs any all size for doorways?

  • "...just going for a McDonalds run....anybody want anything?"
  • Their biggest concern was running out of "snacks".
  • But they were ready to go for years...! Until their creamer ran out.

  • Man I bet the one guy who decided to make a stand and was expecting his big talking compatriots to do like wise, was pissed wherever he showed up in the afterlife.
  • Since he thinks he died for his cause, hes probably waiting in Heaven for his 72 cousins.

  • Looks like he wont be "ranching" foster children for fun and profit anymore.

  • Rule #15 of hostile takeovers: Dont just go for a drive.
  • Rule #43 of hostile takeovers: free dildos

  • You guys better not come in here while I step out to the pub for a bit! I mean it!

  • Turns out it isnt like that boyscout jamboree they went to when they were eight. It sucks, a lot, it takes a lot of planning, time and is a serious commitment, who woulda thunk it?!

  • Alright guys. Someone elses shift. I gotta get back to the ranch to catch the season premier of Duck Dynasty.

  • I just came up with a great plot twist. Tarp Man isnt dead. He was the mole. He wore a fake blood-filled squib and was shot with a blank cartridge. His orphan kids were taken as an incentive to gain his cooperation and he will reunite with them under the witness protection program, with a new identity. A banjo slowly plays an old folk tune as Tarp Man stands silhouetted against the setting sun in a lonely Nebraskan field. A child steps up to take his hand and they stand together, watching the sun descend. Fade to black, roll credits. Directed by Clint Eastwood.

  • charged with first degree darn tootin
  • conspiracy to incite a hootenanny.

  • Well my names Ammon Bundy
    And I took all this here land
    In protest of some stupid laws
    That I dont quite understand
    I guess its all now over
    Im going to prison to pay my dues
    But at least I now have a use
    For an oil drum of lube

  • They love living on federal land, so I dont see why they wont enjoy federal prison

  • To answer his question, yes, you are being detained.

  • FBI did a great job. By staying away, the "malitiamen" got comfortable. Theyd been going to meetings and recruiting those to their misinformed cause.
    The FBI must have just waited until they got far enough out of town to keep civilians safe.
    So far, Im impressed with how this whole thing was handled. Nice job, federal government.

  • The best part is now all these assholes are felons, no more guns for them.

  • RIP tarp man, the guy who used foster children as income.
    I guess he got his wish, to die.

  • "the Lord was not pleased with what was happening to the Hammonds"
    How amazing that god deeply cares about land rights in the American west and that it just happens to line up with what you want.

  • My late grandfather (whom I adore) was a rancher, landowner, Mormon, tax paying American. My great grandfather was a homesteader, They believed in respecting your Nieghbor and more than anything the golden rule. They payed the BLM when asked for land use and the BLM payed them when they needed to use his land. These people are a disgrace to the American west and should be forgotten in history.

  • Shits about to go liveleak

  • Fly your tarps at half mast today

  • "Base to Meal Team Six!"

  • Between reopening the X-Files and now taking down these lawless thugs, I am so pro-FBI rn.

  • Walmartyrs
  • Yall Quada
  • TaliBanjo

  • The real crime here is that it didnt end with these guys A-teaming together some kind of dildo cannon and blasting their way out in a hail of lube and rubber dicks.

  • There are few things professional soldiers despise more than some fake wannabe warrior. Professional military personnel look upon militias and paramilitaries the same way cops regard amateur security guards. And for good reason.

    Irregular militias, paramilitaries, are worse than useless when it comes to defense of a nation. Literally worse than useless. They are untrained, undisciplined, undependable, and too often belligerently unaware of their own pitiful state. They take up resources and risk the security of real soldiers. Irregular militias are often indistinguishable from an armed mob. Like those currently occupying Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Oregon, militias are almost always composed of misfits and rejects, wannabe soldiers and pretend Marines puffed up with stolen valor, disaffected braggarts, belligerent drunkards, criminals, the dangerously mentally ill, conspiracy theorists, and angry losers of every stripe.

    These raggedy-assed pretend patriots are not out there defending your freedom. They’re in it for themselves. They’re in it for themselves and only for themselves and make no mistake about it. These are the "Sovereign Citizens" – an oxymoron if ever there was one. These are the people who have declared themselves a nation unto themselves and have rejected the obligations of civilization. They are citizens of nothing, an army of one, defenders of mob rule and rights by force. They believe freedom comes at the muzzle of a gun and only at the muzzle of a gun, and they believe in their freedom not yours.

  • Youve clearly never seen the 1980s documentary Red Dawn which showed how irregular militias stopped the Mexicans and Soviet Union overthrowing the U.S

  • I wonder if the Mormon church will excommunicate him now?
  • Slow down... Its not like hes gay.
  • Are you sure? He seemed to have a lot of dildos in his possession.

  • Fucking finally.
    Now, can we move past this crazy circus and get back to discussing the serious possibility of a Trump presidency?

  • Okay, Ill ask the question everyone is wondering: who gets the $1,000 barrel of lube? Does it become federal property or are they going to auction it off, and if so, what will the bidding start at?

  • They didnt want freedom. They wanted free

  • All in his plan, now he can occupy another federal facility

  • Update : They have been given until 4 AM to get out
  • Worst. Checkout Time. EVER.

  • Let the conspiracy paranoia begin : Militia member shot in cold blood ... while waving a white flag and singing God Bless America plus his gun was just a fake water pistol.

  • A funny thing would be for the FBI to make sure they have one of the dildos when they check into prison. It will go into their personal effects box and in a few years when they get out they open the box to find a nice shapely reminder of why they were in prison.

  • Jesuss called, yeah he said youre a felon.

  • If only more people had donated snacks.

  • Think 4chan will be sending dildos to the funeral?

  • Any confirmation yet on who shot first in the Gun fight at the Flaming Dildo Corral?

  • The modern day equivalent in sneaking out of the besieged castle to steal a sack from the attackers camp. More dangerous when people dont have to touch you to kill you.

    Except this castle is a gift shop.


  • The Feds shouldve raided Clivens Ranch at the same time.

  • Boys, stop playing fort in the back yard, wash up and come in for supper.

  • what is it that the conservatives are always saying whenever the police beat or kill some person from a group they dont like? "play stupid games, win stupid prizes"?

    fits like a glove in this case..

  • In the Yeehawdi version of paradise, the martyrs each get 72 foster children and 50 acres of govt land!

  • They want to protest the federal govt, take over a govt building, then go to use federally supported roads to buy stuff for a poorly planned out armed protest, and theyre angry that the FBI was waiting? If anything, about time this bit them in the ass.

  • This becomes really comical when you think about the original reason why this occupation started in the first place.

    Bureau of Land Management offers ranchers incredibly cheap rates to use federal land for grazing their cattle. In exchange for the significant discount, BLM kindly requires the ranchers to abide by some flora-preservation rules. These restrictions are fluid and temporary. They come and go with the fluctuating population of various species. And of course any rancher who doesnt want to deal with the inconvenience always has the option to seek out unrestricted use of private land, usually at much higher rates.

    Bundy and his band of idiots decided one day that these restrictions on federal land were a violation of their rights and liberties. They spun the whole thing into an issue of freedom, presumably got caught up in some bullshit mythos of private citizens saving the society from state-sanctioned oppression, and ended up starting an armed occupation.

    Thats the cause theyre willing to die for: fucking flora preservation restrictions.

  • All the dildos in the world cant help them now.
    But they probably couldve prepared them for what comes next.

  • I hope theres a group of people waiting at the station playing the song Karma Police and singing along to the chorus.
    This is what you get.


  • Branch Dildovians

  • This is the Cowliphate

  • VanillaISIS

  • Buttplug Harem

  • These guys remind me of the Will Ferrell scene were he yells "lets go Streaking!!!!" and hes the only one that does it. These guys thought they had the pulse of the nation, but thats what happens when you insulate yourself from the world.






 

 

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