How to speak "Palinese"

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There's a new dialect that can be witnessed in mainstream media news and talk radio. It's called "Palinese." Here's how you too, can speak it...

Recent examples of Palinese: language of the double standard


If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified
candidates you're a 'token hire.'

If you're a conservative and you're
selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a 'game changer.'

Black teen pregnancies? A 'crisis' in black America.
White teen pregnancies? A 'blessed event.'

If you grow up in Hawaii you're 'exotic.'
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential
'American story.'

Similarly, if you name your kid Barack you're 'unpatriotic.'
Name your kid Track, you're 'colorful.'

If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the
individual you're 'reckless.' A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a
'maverick.'

If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your
organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000
to $400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard
Law Review,create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000
new African Amerian voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law
professor,then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator
representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman
of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then
spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a
state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving
on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's
Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced.

If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor
of a town with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as
the governor of a state with 650,000 people, you've got the most
executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the
Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified
to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because
your state is the closest state to Russia.

If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with
millions of people you are an 'arrogant celebrity'. If you are a
popular republican female candidate you are 'energizing the base'.

If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself
and makes his own decisions you are 'presumptuous'. if you
are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions
you refuse to explain, you are a 'shoot from the hip' maverick.

If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are
'an elitist 'out of touch' with the real America. if you are a
legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis,
with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.

If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you
are an 'empty suit'.If you are a part time mayor of a town of
7000 people, you are an 'experienced executive'.

If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are 'extremist'.
If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man
made, you are 'strongly principled'.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your
disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a
Christian.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years with whom
you are raising 2 beautiful daughters you're 'risky'.

If you're a black single mother of 4 who waits for 22 hours after her
water breaks to seek medical attention, you're an irresponsible parent,
endangering the life of your unborn child.

But if you're a white married mother who waits 22 hours, you're spunky.

If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you
'First dog.'

If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the
right-wing press calls you 'beautiful' and 'courageous.'

If you kill an endangered species, you're an excellent hunter.
If you have an abortion you're not a christian, you're a murderer
(forget about if it happen while being date raped)

If you teach abstinence only in sex education, you get teen parents.
If you teach responsible age appropriate sex education, including the
proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.


 

f*cking A!
Posted by smidoid on 2008-09-16 05:59:25
Yeah, that's about right. Show the f*cking loony for what she is.
I can't wait
Posted by icemanxxxv on 2008-09-16 06:18:31
This is classic example of the Republican Double Standard!
For Troopergate to blow up in the Republicans Faces!
Keep 'em comin'
Posted by obamanation on 2008-09-16 07:44:13
Why has no one else in the media called her out on this? Is it just you? There have to be more, right? Right?
Posted by Topher on 2008-09-16 09:26:49
How about some citations of exactly when and where these things were said? As it stands, this is just more hot air.
cowgirls
Posted by thorny on 2008-09-16 10:09:10
The States has always loved cowboys and cowgirls. They are having fun "whooping" it up without a thought to the consequences.
Forgot one...
Posted by Glis on 2008-09-16 17:59:45
If you are a democrat who knows someone who said "God Damn America..." in reference to wars, starvation and mass murder you are a terrorist.

If your husband is a member of a party that believes their state should secede from the Union, and whose previous church practices speaking in tongues, you are a patriot.

Seriously, this *lovely republican woman* used to speak in tongues at church. I can't believe Fox News showed the interview with the pastor. Hearing muslim prayers scares most westerers... imagine Muslims seeing footage of christians speaking in tongues... and one of them could control the world's largest military. It a lot easier to kill innocent people if you think that they suffer an incurable group psychosis.
let's not get distracted
Posted by Morton on 2008-09-17 13:38:19
Has anybody noticed that while the media and the public is whipping up on Palin, McCain is getting a free pass?
Posted by Big al on 2008-09-27 17:36:35
Spank her
Posted by weneedtothink on 2008-10-18 03:08:40
Ok, we get it everyone, hates that McCain and Palin are republican. WE GET IT! So stop your stupid f*&%ing wining. If the democrats get office it is going to be a dictatorship because they already have congress and legislative. so if you want to sacrifice freedom so that we can have "change" then go for it. Now I'm not saying that I like McCain because by all means I don't, but lets just stop and think about what we are doing. Vote interdependent if we have to.
Posted by weneedtothink on 2008-10-18 03:09:19
Ok, we get it everyone, hates that McCain and Palin are republican. WE GET IT! So stop your stupid f*&%ing wining. If the democrats get office it is going to be a dictatorship because they already have congress and legislative. so if you want to sacrifice freedom so that we can have "change" then go for it. Now I'm not saying that I like McCain because by all means I don't, but lets just stop and think about what we are doing. Vote interdependent if we have to.
Posted by weneedtothink on 2008-10-18 03:09:24
Ok, we get it everyone, hates that McCain and Palin are republican. WE GET IT! So stop your stupid f*&%ing wining. If the democrats get office it is going to be a dictatorship because they already have congress and legislative. so if you want to sacrifice freedom so that we can have "change" then go for it. Now I'm not saying that I like McCain because by all means I don't, but lets just stop and think about what we are doing. Vote interdependent if we have to.
Posted by weneedtothink on 2008-10-18 03:09:36
Ok, we get it everyone, hates that McCain and Palin are republican. WE GET IT! So stop your stupid f*&%ing wining. If the democrats get office it is going to be a dictatorship because they already have congress and legislative. so if you want to sacrifice freedom so that we can have "change" then go for it. Now I'm not saying that I like McCain because by all means I don't, but lets just stop and think about what we are doing. Vote interdependent if we have to.
Posted by ScaryForeignSocialist on 2008-10-18 03:49:53
I don't think I'd vote based on what someone who can't spell a party's name ordered.

No mainstream media has picked up on this because they are owned by Republican news tyrants. But yeah, Democrats want Dictatorship. The words sound similar, and that's enough for the Republican propaganda mill, right?

Give it a rest, tool.
Posted by moose on 2008-10-18 10:48:05
whining has an h in it. just so you know.
Posted by rw on 2008-10-18 11:28:13
I think I'm going to vote "interdependent". I wonder who the "interdependent" candidate is? Also, weneedtothink, where have you been for the past eight years, ever wonder why some refer to Bush as "King Bush", talk about having a near dictatorship. You need to think.
Posted by Repubs are Turds on 2008-10-21 21:13:08
If a Democrat criticizes the last eight years of failed Bush policies they are foolishly "looking back" and deserve to be ridiculed for not addressing the future.

If a Republican invents absurd fantasies about Barack Obama's brief association with a man who committed crimes four decades ago, that is raising serious and pertinent questions about a topic more significant to everyone than the economy or the war in Iraq.
To:
Posted by Tenth Speed Writer on 2008-10-21 22:43:51
weneedtothink.

Congress AND the legislative branch, now? Goodness me.
This has nothing to do with anything
Posted by jesus on 2008-10-22 14:06:44
i wonder if you realize that what you have posted is the same attack of character that caused your outrage. we keep hearing about how one certain candidate does not partake in 'mud-slinging' but it is just because he has millions of people like the original author of this piece (by the way, i've seen this in multiple other locations, in about seven or eight e-mails, and heard it preached on the street; this is not an original production). attacking a candidate's character does nothing to help the american people decide the best president, all it does is piss people off.
Posted by jesus on 2008-10-22 14:07:55
by the way, i dont know who im voting for this year; BOTH candidates are so vague about everything except their bullshit talking points
still
Posted by Christina on 2008-10-22 15:46:27
The fact remains that Sarah Palin was an irresponsible choice for the vice presidential nomination because of John McCain's' health. She needs to be looked at critically because she could be our next president if his cancer comes out of remission. Can anyone honestly say that being a mayor and governor adequately prepares a person to take the most important position of our government?
All heat and no light...
Posted by Cora on 2008-10-24 02:38:08
Some of what you've stated is a bit "enhanced" and only detracts from the conversation Americans need to have about Palin. I agree though -- hers is not the steady hand and discerning mind I want to see in the White House.
Wow..
Posted by Anonymous on 2008-10-24 16:28:18
With our current knowledge technology, our government is a failed system. Educate your self.
no title here
Posted by Fsm-hahahah on 2008-10-24 23:13:36
I agree about how both of them have been WAY too vague. i watch the debates and both of them excessively beat around the bush. I wouldnt vote for Obama, Or McCain, until i can get some Solid answers about their agenda's and policies

but your right

We need to think - =D
Go to their Websites
Posted by The Fresh Maker on 2008-10-26 03:29:47
If you feel they are vague go look at their agenda's/proposals posted on their websites. You will find doing research more helpful than reflecting on banter.
Right On
Posted by TommyJ on 2008-10-28 11:38:05
Why oh why do we need to see stupid things such as this? It is really stupid. Black Americans(oops African Americans) bring a lot of this shit on themselves! Let's get real, if things are said or done out of line by the McCain Camp, it is called out by the Elite Media. If the Obama Camp makes gestures out of line, it is called out by who? Excuse me, what Elite Media did you just say? Exactly......OBAMA/BIDEN have had a free pass this whole campaign! They got hit hard with questions that needed answered, by a lady news reporter in Florida, and what happened? They said that T.V. station will not get access to their campaign again! Wow that is the way we should handle hard questions! Throw them under the bus, so nobody has to answer them! Give it up and lay it to rest! Allow the American voter to be heard, and then go from there. Oh wait that's right the Republicans will probably dis-enfranchise all the black votes, just so McCain/Palin wins the election!
Excuse Me?
Posted by Z on 2008-10-29 11:42:35
@TommyJ
I don't think that McCain/Palin has done a better job than Obama/Biden in answering questions that are "hard-hitting". There are plenty of instances of both of them fudging up. And both of them have been mercilessly made fun of by the other party for doing so.

And I'd like you to explain how black Americans bring "a lot of this shit" upon themselves?
@ Z
Posted by TommyJ on 2008-10-29 12:09:47
Well for starters, McCain/Palin have had to answer the hard questions from the start! Now that two media outlets, one in Florida and the other in Philly, have dared to ask Biden a tough question or two, they are crying wolf and not allowing those Television stations access to their campaign for the remainder of this election cycle! Is that fair? What if McCain/Palin would have done this? We would have heard people on the left crying and everything else! Why won't the LA Times release the video of Obama, PLO Leader, and Ayers? Could it be, because they threw their endorsement behind Obama earlier in the month? If they released this, would it be hard on his character judgment? I say black americans bring a lot of this on themselves because of simple facts pointing to this! I mean why should our government pay reparations for blacks because many years ago they were held in slavery? I totally agree, that slavery was a very bad crime, but how many slaves are alive today? Why should black americans be paid for things that happened to their ancestors? I believe that black, white, hispanic, or any other nationality has the tools to make something of themselves in america today. It takes hard work, and determination, but degree's and good paying jobs can be had. Why is the crime rate higher among black americans, than it is among white americans? I mean look at the family of Jennifer Hudson. Why did that have to happen? Now they found her nephew murdered. Take a look at OJ Simpson, he basically got away with murder for 13 years, and then he went on a rampage in Vegas and landed his tail back in jail. How many times do you see black Americans using racial words towards each other, but see a white american using this, and man oh man it is being racist and everything else! I think America, whether it be black, white, latino, or whatever else you may be, should all be equal. I doubt that will ever happen, because the many black people that I know, still live in the past, and it seems as though they never want to be a part of the future!
Posted by Ender13 on 2008-11-04 14:37:50
Black American's should receive support because slavery has caused pervasive racism that was boldy apparent until only a few years ago and is still very real even if you're in denial. It has been harder for black families to get out of poverty because of it, so many of them live in the ghetto, which is the cause of the higher crime rate you reference.

You're just an unwitting racist/racialist who thinks that everything is now magically "all better" just because we don't have separate bathrooms and schools anymore.
sexg0d
Posted by Phil E. Drifter on 2008-11-09 17:25:52
GOP=EVIL

they use the desperate ploys of the religitards to keep their armies full so they can continue to rape the world. Iraq war was for the oil, stupid. google it.
patriot
Posted by abe linkin on 2009-02-25 12:36:37
All of ya dummycrats will see soon how wonderful your boy is, as you can already see he can do no wrong as seen by the liberal press. and yes its all liberal press except fox.
Welcome to the USSR (united states of socialist radicals)
Posted by Anonymous on 2009-06-22 14:55:23
How do you like your guy now?
Palin for Life
Posted by BKNick on 2010-10-08 16:45:11
I hope that they make her the undisputed and life-time leader of the republican party . She will do a much better job of tarnishing their reputation than 8 years of Bush or running McCain for president.
Psychic/Clairvoyant
Posted by Vincent Pitisci on 2011-02-16 10:10:58
She is funny but it makes no difference.
She is harmless and no threat. She isn't capable of doing anything against the current administration. Thank God!
 

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