F.D.A. To Drug Companies: Suicide is Bad!

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The Food and Drug Administration, tasked not only with regulating my two favorite vices but determining whether or not a drug will kill us all, has made a pretty interesting decision. They will require companies to not only disclose if their drugs kill people, but to find out if their drugs make people kill themselves.

The F.D.A's oversight of experimental medicines is about as transparent as the initiation rites of Skull and Bones (although I'm pretty sure both involve a lot of naked spanking) and so they of course didn't tell us, the pill-popping public, about their new requirement, but according to letters sent out to drug manufacturers the F.D.A. will now require Big Pharma to include comprehensive assessments of suicide risk in their clinical trials. It's a pretty safe bet, though, that you won't hear suicide listed as one of those wacky side effects for drugs you've never heard of to treat syndromes that don't exist. No word yet on just how many suicides it'll take to actually get a drug yanked by the F.D.A., but lets hope it's a pretty low number.


 

 

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