PATH: BS | Health & Medicine | Dieting

Tilapia: True "Chicken Of The Sea"

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[Environment]
Americans ate 475 million pounds of tilapia last year, four times the amount a decade ago, making this once obscure African native the most popular farmed fish in the United States. Unfortunately, it's not like other fish, nor does it offer the same health benefits commonly associated with eating fish...

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Maher: Ask Your Doctor If Getting Off Your Ass Is Right For You

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Bill Maher goes off on a classic tirade against the pharmaceutical industry. It turns out diet and exercise is just as much (if not more) effective a treatment against depression as Zoloft and Paxil. Go ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you!

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No Sex With Carnivores?

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[Hippies]
A new phenomenon in New Zealand is taking the idea of you are what you eat to the extreme.

Vegansexuals are people who do not eat any meat or animal products, and who choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegan partners whose bodies, they say, are made up of dead animals.

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Amazing Diet Pill!! (Settlement Because of False Advertising)

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[Faulty Products]
Marketers of four popular diet pills have agreed to curb their advertising claims and shell out some $25 million to settle allegations by the Federal Trade Commission that they misled consumers with promises of dramatic weight loss.

In some studies, even placebos--fake pills--produced more weight loss than the diet pills themselves. CortiSlim, CortiStress, One-A-Day WeightSmart, TrimSpa, and Xenadrine EFX are accused of BS advertising claims.

In a related story, did you know that signing up as a member of BSAlert has been clinically proven to enhance the quality and longevity of your life! Try it today!

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America's Fatasses Rejoice: Fried Coke is here

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[Junk Food]
A concessionaire has developed a gooey Coke-battered ball coated with Coke syrup and it's sweeping the state fair circuit. The "treat" has been a big hit at every fair it's been to so far and joins the ranks of such gastronomical wonders as fried pickles, twinkies, and PB&J's.

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Latest Obesity Gimmick: The Stomach Pacemaker

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So you're overweight and the All-Mayonnaise-Diet doesn't seem to be working as advertised? Well, fret no more, there's another new gimmick on the horizon: The Transneuronix Implantable Gastric Stimulation system is like a pacemaker for the belly. Implanted into the abdomen, it zaps nerves in the stomach to make you think you're full.

How about a device that zaps you in the head if you contemplate buying into another stupid diet gimmick?

I'm obviously missing out on the bandwagon here, so I want to announce my own new "weight loss system". It's called the BSAlert Diet(tm). You send me all your money; that way your broke ass won't be able to binge on Snackwells. Trust me, this works.

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Cortislim "Doctor" on TV accused of being total fake

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The latest diet-pill-of-the-week ads bombarding people on TV and radio have come under fire from a number of critics claiming its spokesperson, "Doctor" Greg Cynaumon, has dubious credentials and references. The self-proclaimed "Doctor" promoting this amazing new weight-loss pill, while at the same time asking lemming consumers to take his word that it works and not weigh themselves, seems to have a mysterious Phd degree from a University that the Los Angeles times called a "diploma mill" that went bankrupt years ago. People have questioned the legitimacy of not only the "Doctor's" credentials, but almost all of his references, previous publications and cited studies which supposedly reinforce the claim of this new product's value.

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"workout pill" in development

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Australian scientists are doing research on a drug to simulate the effect of exercise, a move sure to excite couch potatoes the world over. Personally, I'm holding out for a pill that makes people not buy into ridiculous ideas like this.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2004-07-17 20:09:26 | Comment on this Article

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