PATH: BS | Delicious Irony

Oil Company Preaches Morality

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Royal Dutch Shell, the world's top marketer of biofuels, considers using food crops to make biofuels "morally inappropriate" as long as there are people in the world who are starving.

Of course, the problem with starvation isn't the shortage of food, but how it is distributed.

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R.J. Reynolds' Non-Smoker Protection Act

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You figure a proposed law called The Arizona Non-Smoker Protection Act would have something to do with curtailing smoking right? Especially if this bill was promoted by a group called the Non-Smoker Protection Committee.

Then again, when R.J. Reynolds is behind the whole scheme, giving loads of money to shill businessmen to promote this "Non-Smoker Protection Act" it just might turn out to be some legislation designed to reinstate smoking all over the place and limit municipalities from putting restrictions on smoking.

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Government Computer Security Expert Goes To Jail For Hacking

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Kenneth Kwak, 34, of Chantilly, Va., was recently sentenced by U.S. District Judge Royce Lamberth to five months in prison followed by five months of home confinement, based upon Kwak's conviction for gaining unauthorized access to and obtaining information from a Department of Education computer system, the Department of Justice announced.

The sentence results from his March 2006 guilty plea to one count of intentionally gaining unauthorized access to a government computer and thereby obtaining information. In his plea, Kwak, who had been working in an office responsible for ensuring the security of Department of Education computer systems, admitted that he had placed software on a supervisor's computer which enabled him to access the computer's storage at will. He later used that access on numerous occasions to view his supervisor's intra-office and Internet email as well as his other Internet activity and communications; Kwak then shared this information with others in his office.

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Major Vulnerability Found in Symantec Norton Antivirus

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Yesterday, it was publicly disclosed that users running versions of Symantec Norton Antivirus have a serious remote-code-execution vulnerability condition. No user intervention is even required. Peoples' PCs can be taken over without any action on their part. Good one Symantec! Reason #78,454,320 to not use Norton's Antivirus.

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Government Using Illegal Phone Records To ID Media Leaks

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Sources are telling major news networks that the government is now going over phone records of reporters in an effort to identify who within the administration is leaking details of the NSA's illegal record search system to reporters.

A senior federal law enforcement official tells ABC News the government is tracking the phone numbers Brian Ross and Richard Esposito call in an effort to root out confidential sources.

"It's time for you to get some new cell phones, quick," the source told us in an in-person conversation.

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All Other Problems Solved; Congress Tackles The National Anthem

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Since we're doing so well economically and militarily, the United States Senate has decided to spend its time and resources addressing the next, very critical issue facing the American people: Whether the National Anthem should exclusively be sung in English.

These guys apparently didn't notice that the national motto, "E Plurbus Unum" is in Latin.

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Right Wing Journalist Becomes Healthcare Victim

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Catherine Seipp, who has been an extremist writer for the conservative publication National Review Online, has, in the wake of her own health care nightmare, decided to rant about her troubles now that she's been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer and her insurer Blue Cross is giving her trouble.

Ms. Seipp's sordid history is not without overwhelming irony now in the face of her debacle (in 1997 she unsympathetically wrote of anyone who was offended by her writing to "Get over it!"), which seems to only be coming to light because she was unlucky enough to have the blue ice fall in her back yard.

It's really tough to have sympathy for someone who has been specifically responsible for promoting policy for decades that that has led to the problem she is now facing.

As sad as Ms. Siepp's condition may be, the saddest part of all is that if her life wasn't at stake, she probably wouldn't be speaking out against the current healthcare system. To add further irony she was worried that upon being diagnosed with cancer, she would "become nice." Well, don't worry Cathy. When you die, I'm sure there will be someone nearby to pick up the torch (and pitchfork).

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Campaign Photo Replaces New Orleans with Disneyland

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New Orleans mayoral candidate Kimberly Williamson Butler is not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed--or the most honest. Her campaign website featured a lovely header with a photo of Butler smiling in front of a charming French Quarter scene. The only problem was the large Disney trash can on the street, revealing that Butler was smiling in front of Disneyland's New Orleans Square, not the real New Orleans.

Once the news of the fake New Orleans photo hit the internet, did Butler run out and get a photo of the real New Orleans for her website? Nah. Instead, her staff just Photoshopped out the garbage can. Hey, who has time in a busy mayoral campaign to take pictures in the real location?

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Government Using Computer Games To Improve Foreign Relations?

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[Entertainment]
Apparently having exhausted every other medium to improve its reputation among the rest of the world, the Unites States State Department is now blowing taxpayer money on projects involving the development of massive online computer games designed to promote improved foreign relations and public diplomacy.

The Public Diplomacy and Virtual Worlds project is a research project examining one aspect of new technology and public diplomacy: the role of video games, specifically Massively Multiplayer Online Games (MMOGs), in public diplomacy.

Have any of these officials actually ever played online multiplayer games? How much diplomacy do you typically see in Halo, Unreal Tournament, Everquest or World of Warcraft? Maybe they should pick some other industry to infiltrate first that might prove more successful, like maybe the Nazi party or Fred Phelps church?

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McAffee Antivirus Goes Amok, Shuts Down Legitimate Apps

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Anti-virus vendor McAfee is scrambling to contain the damage from a faulty definition update that incorrectly flagged hundreds of legitimate software programs as W95/CTX, a low-risk Windows 95 virus that was first detected in 2004.

The erroneous .DAT file (4715) was shipped late on March 10 with definitions for a wide range of new malware threats, but when the update was installed, it quarantined or deleted several widely deployed applications, including Microsoft Excel, Macromedia Flash Player, Adobe Update Manager and the Google Toolbar Installer.

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