PATH: BS | Business | Merchandising

The Soldier's Bible: In The Beginning God Created Kicking Ass

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There is now an essential tool for every soldier to take with them on their endless deployments to foreign lands. It's not dry socks, armor, guns, bullets, or cheesecake photos of their loved ones. No, friends, it's The Soldier's Bible.

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The Latest Fitness Craze: Portable/Home Stripper Poles?

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[Sex]
The web site says, "Lil' Mynx stripper poles are popping up into thousands of homes worldwide every month. Pole dancing is the hottest health & fitness craze to sweep the nation in years. This fresh approach to working out incorporates sensual dance moves and pole work."

You can even get a portable stripper pole for your boat!

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Coke Adds Banned Sweetener To Its Version For Mexicans

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[Faulty Products]
Coca-Cola, the company with better name recognition than God, has started using a different artificial sweetener in the Mexican brand of Coca-Cola Zero. It's kind of like OUR revenge for Montezuma's Revenge.

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Reebok Shoes Are Killer, Thanks To The Bush Administration

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[Faulty Products]
In the wake of a massive Chinese toy recall, scrutiny is showing that the Bush administration has gone out of its way to weaken existing controls to insure the safety of products imported into the country.

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Former Farmhand Turns Beloved Cows Into Furniture

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[Pets]
Helga Tacreiter loves cows. A lot. While working for a farm she came to love the big, soft, lets-face-it-kinda-stupid quadrapeds, but most decidedly did not love watching them marched off to be separated into their component parts. So she started a cow sanctuary. Not having a lot of money, however, she needed a way to PAY for her sanctuary-- but how?

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Nationwide List Of Deficient And Obsolete Bridges

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[Faulty Products]
Do you want to know how many deficient and obsolete bridges you have in your state? Details are here.

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Philly Mayor Waits For iPhone While Murder Rate Soars

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Philadelphia Mayor John F. Street serves his constitutients well. What's he doing? Well, up until today, he was standing in line to get the new iPhone. He abruptly ended his wait in line after a passer-by asked him about the city's murder rate.

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Large Recall On Chinese-Made Tires

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[Faulty Products]
U.S. authorities urged a recall of up to 450,000 Chinese-made tires that may contain safety defects, reports said June 26--the latest in a string of China-related consumer scares. The tires were sold under the brand names Westlake, Telluride, Compass, and YKS for use as spares on sport utility vehicles, vans, and trucks.

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China Has Found A Creative Way To Dispose of Toxic Waste

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[Faulty Products]
China manufactured every one of the 24 kinds of toys recalled for safety reasons in the United States so far this year, including the enormously popular Thomas & Friends wooden train sets, a record that is causing alarm among consumer advocates, parents and regulators.

Hey did you know that some rubber eyeballs imported from China and sold in the states are filled with Kerosene? Flame on!

Update:
When Mattel Inc. recalled nearly a million toys manufactured by Zhang Shuhong’s company, he fought hard to find a way to resume sales to America. They were the lifeblood of his firm, Lee Der Industrial Co., Ltd., and its lucrative share of the export boom driving China’s economic growth.

But as Zhang’s factories in the southern city of Foshan lay idle, workers started drifting off, fearing they would never start up again. Then Chinese authorities sealed Zhang’s ruin by announcing Thursday that he was prohibited from exporting toys until further notice because of the defects denounced by Mattel.

Zhang was found dead in a company warehouse two days later, colleagues said Monday, apparently having hanged himself in despair. His death dramatized the high stakes in an international scare over unsafe Chinese products and an increasingly vigorous government crackdown designed to restore confidence in the vital export industry

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My Masters Thesis: The Bra Controller

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[Lonely People]
Jennifer Chowdhury attended the interactive telecommunications program at New York University, where her prototypes drew on her engineering training, her artistic aspirations and her sense of humor. Her master's thesis project, Intimate Controllers, demonstrates the much-needed merging of gaming controllers and underwear.

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Chinese Toys Contain Lead Paint

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More than 1 million of the popular "Thomas & Friends" wooden railway toys made in China are being voluntarily recalled because some may contain lead paint, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission said on Wednesday.

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Video: Bush's Adoring Fans In Albania Steal His Watch?

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Bush had to travel quite far to find a photo-op of people seemingly pleased to see him. The adoring crowds of one of the remaining allies in his Iraqi invasion in Albania not only wanted to get their hands on him, but also his watch.

Watch on video as the man responsible for the security of our nation can't control the security of his wrists.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-07-06 05:03:31 | Comment on this Article

DuPont's $63 Million Dollar Plane You Bought That Can't Fly

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[Faulty Products]
Congress has spent more than $63 million on an experimental aircraft that has never flown more than a few feet and that the Pentagon has repeatedly rejected.

Designed as a plane that can take off straight up and then fly at 700 miles per hour, the craft has never attained a height of more than a few feet in prototype tests before crashing to the ground.

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It's Like American Idol But With Renal Failure

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[Television]
Being terminally ill is not, I think we can all agree, fun. Being confronted with one's own mortality is pretty much universally loathed, especially in the wasting fashion of most terminal diseases. You know what would make ME feel a whole lot better about the whole process of watching the curtain slowly fall on my own little play? Picking who gets my kidneys when I finally kick the bucket.

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Chocolate Jesus: My Sweet Lord

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The Easter season unveiling of an anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ, dubbed "My Sweet Lord" by its creator, the 485,460-calorie Messiah has infuriated Catholics preparing to observe some of their holiest days of the year.

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Apple's Latest Product

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[Humor]
Steve Jobs has introduced another new product for the Apple line. Check it out.

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Looking To Get In Someone's Pants And Use Your PC?

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[Sex]
Axe, makers of that smelly alcohol-based herbicide made famous by commercials showing men being chased by throngs of women, have finally revealed the nature of their target demographic with this latest product: The upskirt mouse pad...

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2007-07-06 06:05:41 | Comment on this Article

New Mexico Features Talking Urinal Cakes

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[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
[Psychology]
New Mexico is hoping to keep drunk drivers off the road by lecturing them at the last place they usually stop before getting behind the wheel: the urinal.

The state recently paid $21 each for about 500 talking urinal-deodorizer cakes and has put them in bathrooms in bars and restaurants across the state.

When a guy steps up, the motion-sensitive plastic device says, in a woman's voice that is flirty, then stern: "Hey, big guy. Having a few drinks? Think you had one too many? Then it's time to call a cab or call a sober friend for a ride home."

The recorded message ends: "Remember, your future is in your hand."

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2007-07-08 10:52:54 | Comment on this Article

The Perfect Gift For YOUR Sexual Deviant- Recommended By Judges!

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A New Jersey man (you know this story is going to involve the word "convicted" shortly) stands convicted (there it is) of arranging sexual encounters with two 14-year-olds he came into contact with through MySpace (the Internet-- Because Parents Don't Have Enough Sleepless Nights). He's been sentenced to a couple of years in the can, five years probation, and one of the cruelest punishments meted out by our justice system in recent memory...

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Amazing Diet Pill!! (Settlement Because of False Advertising)

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[Faulty Products]
Marketers of four popular diet pills have agreed to curb their advertising claims and shell out some $25 million to settle allegations by the Federal Trade Commission that they misled consumers with promises of dramatic weight loss.

In some studies, even placebos--fake pills--produced more weight loss than the diet pills themselves. CortiSlim, CortiStress, One-A-Day WeightSmart, TrimSpa, and Xenadrine EFX are accused of BS advertising claims.

In a related story, did you know that signing up as a member of BSAlert has been clinically proven to enhance the quality and longevity of your life! Try it today!

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