|
|
PATH: Humor
|
Steve Martin on O'Reilly's Liberal Leap Second Conspiracy
Posted by Pile
(6348 views)      [E-Mail link]
|
[Humor]
 |
"This year's leap second is an assault on the American public," says commentator Bill O'Reilly. "The reason the leap second is even being proposed is because of America Haters, because of Iraqi hate mongers, and let's be honest, Shiites. Why would you add a second to the year unless you're an anti-American hate monger?
I remember liberals at a party saying, 'let's add a second to the year' and I was the only one who spoke up against it. Why would they want to add a second to the year? Because it gives them a second longer to hate Bush.
"Look, look, look, look. A leap second is a denial of everything American, of everything good, of everything moral. They're saying we need this second because the earth rotates on its axis and revolves around the earth, well this is the no spin zone. So we don't need a leap second. Though I would rather have a leap second than some of these hate-mongers who go around hating even their own ideas! They need to hate their own ideas so much that you have many liberals proposing the leap second, which is an idea that they hate, yet, they propose. |
READ MORE | No comments | Comment on this Article |
|
Bumper Sticker Store
Normally, I despise corporate advertising, but these commercials are so clever I can't help but call attention to them. I still wouldn't piss on a flaming insurance agent to save his life, but I will laugh at the Geico caveman. Check out the series here...
Give the Shah one in the eye! Show George W. by riding the Great White Knuckler! Beat the insurgency AND your bishop! Encouraged by Princeton's 
A study published in the journal Current Biology reveals that chimpanzees of any age prefer older female chimps when seeking a mate and younger females have to beg for attention of the sexual kind. It is what the researchers call "one of the biggest behavioural differences between humans and our closest biological relatives" (other than public masturbation and flinging fecal matter, that is).
Testosterone levels in American males are dropping across the board. Testosterone is, of course, the primary male sex hormone, and low levels of it have been linked to diabetes, lowered libido, and man-teats the size of a softball. According to researchers at the New England Research Institutes, serum testosterone concentrations have declined for men even when correcting for the age of those studied. Researchers are unsure what is causing the decline, but follow me below the fold for some likely culprits...
Here's a transcript from Bill Maher's "Real Time" last week of his scathing diatribe about what's wrong with children today and who is really preying on them. The answer may surprise you! Video is here too.
Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan have been confronted with a most dastardly foe--giant marijuana plants. The Taliban soldiers they are fighting use the plants, which absorb too much energy to penetrate with thermal detection devices, for cover. I think this should definitely be in the next Army recruitment video.
An eBay auction for the mummified remains of what appears to authorities to be a child was shut down recently and efforts are underway to determine just whose mummy this might be. Selling mummified human remains is against eBay's policies (and gross), although the bid got up to $500 bucks (from an eBayer by the monicker of "Satan's Child," no less) before Port Huron, MI authorities and the eBay staff were notified.
The Suspicious Looking Device, manufactured by Junkfunnel Labs, has one purpose and one purpose only--to look as suspicious as possible.
Baldness. It's a curse that strikes fear into the hearts of men everywhere, and a few women as well. Fortunately, there are remedies--weaves, hair plugs, toupees, wigs. At least, those are available for most baldness sufferers.
If you're a fan of the HBO series, "Deadwood", you may find this extremely amusing.
There's a sequel to the Passion of the Christ coming out... check out the trailer.
Do you like to pile stuff on your cat? Of course you do! And now, you can share your love of things stacked on cats with others.
Just today I was asking myself, what would happen if someone put one of those teen-movie treatments on the epic, The Ten Commandments. Well, what do you know... check out this funny trailer.
What happens when an improv comedy group of 80 dress up in blue polo shirts and khakis walk into a Best Buy store? Oh yea.. you can see this coming...
Some students at Gordon College in Wenham, Massachusetts put together a really creative and entertaining skit for their talent show. A live reinactment of Nintendo's Super Mario Bros game.
One day after being named the new White House spokesman, former Fox News pundit Tony Snow announced that a deal merging Fox News and the Bush White House had been successfully completed. 
It seems once a year, we are reminded that tech people have a marginal sense of humor, as various web sites take advantage of April Fools to come up with what they think are clever tricks...
To commemorate the final episode of Monster House, we here at BSAlert.com have discovered the lost list of rejected Monster House themes. Check 'em out!
The T-shirt shops on Bourbon Street and elsewhere are gearing up to exploit the destruction of the city. Check out some of the designs...
Your period comes every month, but Xmas comes only once a year. So bring that menstrual joy to this holiday season with these tampon tree decorations. From a string of tampon lights to a star at the top of the tree, feminine hygiene has never been so festive!
A study at MIT has found that aluminum foil headwear ("Among a fringe community of paranoids..the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals") actually amplifies certain frequency bands allocated to the US government, as well as a mobile phone range, and is largely ineffective through the rest of the radio spectrum. But we can we trust the study, or are They controlling the researchers?
Ever wonder what it would be like if Fox News existed throughout history? Check it out.
It's good to see that when tragedy strikes, there are still people with great Photoshop skills there to comment. Truly, a picture is worth a thousand words, even if it's a made-up picture.
Among the more out-of-character things Wal-Mart Stores CEO H. Lee Scott has been talking up lately is the retailer's quest for more sales to more affluent shoppers.
In the wake of the final Star Wars installment giving every basement-dwelling 30-something multiple orgasms, we present this very funny collection of captioned costume pics, courtesy of Capnwacky.com.
If you've been surfing around the net, you've probably seen those annoying "click here to win a free iPod" banner ads. It's basically a Ponzi-esque marketing scheme that people fall for. An enterprising site called iMockery.com has put together a very funny collection of new ads for these schemes.
This is one of the most insightful and crazy online comics I've seen in a long time. Check it out.
Apparently the Swiss are just too clever for their own good. They've developed a public toilet which is covered with one-way glass so that while you're inside you can see out, but nobody can see in. Would you use this thing? (See the full article for the picture from the inside)
In the wake of the stagnant progress of the Bush administration's current Social Security reform scheme, it seems they've taken 