PATH: BS | Society | Stupid People

Miss America 2011 Finalists: Should Evolution Be Taught To Kids?

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[Edumakashun]
The 2011 Miss America finalists were asked the question, "Do you think evolution should be taught in schools?" Here are there answers state-by-state.

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Keith Olbermann: Here Are Your Candidates For Tuesday!

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You want change? Keith Olbermann gives the conservatives a list of the up-and-coming leaders on the ballot Tuesday... here's your future Tea Party leaders..

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How To Lose Your Faith In Humanity In One Easy Step

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[Media]
Or at least of Americans... check out the video

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2009-11-14 06:23:26 | Comment on this Article

Fox News Map Of The Middle East

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[News Media]
Seriously. Who is in charge over there?

READ MORE | 5 comments since 2013-08-18 23:18:31 | Comment on this Article

News Show Claims Copyright Infringement To Avoid Embarrassment

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[News Media]
What happens when your April Fool's day prank is taken seriously by a New York television news agency? Well, in an effort to avoid embarrassment, WPIX CW11, owned by Tribune Entertainment, apparently filed a DMCA complaint against the group, "Improv Everywhere" and claimed copyright infringement on their reporting and re-broadcasting of Improv Everywhere's April Fool's gag, that they thought was real. Once again, a news agency does absolutely no fact-checking, and when caught with their pants down tries to pretend the debacle never happened. Luckily someone other than YouTube is hosting the embarrassing video.

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Pope Continues To Reject Condoms For Africa AIDS Crisis

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Speaking to African bishops at the Vatican, the Pope described HIV/Aids in Africa as a "cruel epidemic".

But he told them: "The traditional teaching of the church has proven to be the only failsafe way to prevent the spread of HIV/Aids."

The only thing more cruel than Africa's AIDS epidemic is a bunch of virgins trying to counsel people on sexuality.

READ MORE | 300 comments since 2017-10-13 16:06:36 | Comment on this Article

Ben Stein Dropped From Vermont University Commencement Gig

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[Beating Dead Horses]
Remember Ben Stein? The Clear Eyes pitchman and the goofy teacher from Ferris Buehler? No, what we really mean is the star of the ridiculous anti-evolution crockumentary, "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed". Well, some brainiac at the University of Vermont thought it would be a good idea to invite him to give a commencement speech. Apparently the students and the rest of the academic community, who didn't take too kindly to Stein's movie suggesting higher education was a fraud and evolution was tantamount to the holocaust, took offense..

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2009-03-11 12:19:53 | Comment on this Article

BSAlert Podcast 10 - A Potpourri Of Miscellany

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[BSAlert *exclusive*]
For our tenth show, we eschewed a single topic and decided to launch a new series of featured segments where we talk about what's on our mind. We cover everything from the Madhoff ponzi scheme to bizzarro Bush's commencement speech, Nigerian scams, the United Auto Workers union and even field a visit from the grammar nazis!

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Keith Oberman On Bush's Legacy

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[Beating Dead Horses]
You know this is going to be good...

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2008-12-14 15:19:24 | Comment on this Article

Black Friday Consumers Trample Wal-Mart Employee

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A Wal-Mart worker died after being trampled when hundreds of shoppers smashed through the doors of a Long Island store Friday morning, police and witnesses said.

The 34-year-old worker, employed as an overnight stock clerk, tried to hold back the unruly crowds just after the Valley Stream store opened at 5 a.m.

Witnesses said the surging throngs of shoppers knocked the man down. He fell and was stepped on. As he gasped for air, shoppers ran over and around him.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2009-03-27 08:51:28 | Comment on this Article

Obama's Plan Now Available

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[Humor]
A video has been leaked onto the net confirming what McCain supporters feared...

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2008-12-09 06:02:28 | Comment on this Article

Matt Damon: Sara Palin As VP Is Like A "Bad Disney Movie"

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Matt Damon has a rather insightful analysis of the selection of unknown Alaskan governor Sara Palin as McCain's running mate. He compares it to a quirky Disney movie where a naive hockey-mom accidentally becomes the President of the United States.... check out the video...

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2008-10-19 19:45:42 | Comment on this Article

Arkansas To Change Constitution To Allow Insane People To Vote

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The other day I was looking in a local Arkansas Paper and came across a rather interesting amendment being proposed... along with some politically-correct term limits, the amendment also explicitly gives "idiots" and "insane persons" the right to vote, which apparently was not previously available. I didn't know idiots had their own lobbying group... oh, wait...

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2008-11-09 19:42:33 | Comment on this Article

They're Putting Something In Our Water?

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[Pundits]
There's an interesting activist clip circulating around the Internet from a Northern California woman who seems to have uncovered a vast government conspiracy. Check it out...

READ MORE | 10 comments since 2008-10-13 16:49:32 | Comment on this Article

LA Governor, Bobby Jindal calls Intelligent Design "Science"

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[Pseudo-Science]
Add newly-elected Louisiana governor, Republican Bobby Jindal, to the short list of people who think "intelligent design" belongs in science class, despite virtually every scientist of any renown on the planet claiming creationism is not science. What's next? Alchemy along side Chemistry? See the video...

READ MORE | 7 comments since 2008-07-15 19:09:19 | Comment on this Article

Lifelock Pitch Man Becomes Victim Of Identity Theft

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[Get-Rich-Quick]
Hey, remember that guy, Todd Davis, CEO of Lifelock who was so confident in his company's ability to protect people from identity theft that he published his social security number? Ooops!

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2011-01-10 05:56:06 | Comment on this Article

John McCain: A Man With Experience

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Even my mother said, "I don't know if I can vote for Obama. He doesn't seem to have enough experience."

What exactly is the standard for presidential experience this election season? Take a look...

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2008-05-26 23:40:45 | Comment on this Article

American Airlines Pilot Accidently Shoots His Plane

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A gun carried by a US Airways pilot accidentally discharged during a flight from Denver to Charlotte on Saturday, according to airline and federal officials.

No one was injured, and the aircraft was not in any danger during the flight, officials said. It landed at Charlotte/Douglas International Airport around 11:51 a.m. Saturday.

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Are Americans Becoming Even More Unintelligent?

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[Psychology]
Susan Jacoby writes an interesting op-ed addressing what appears to not only be a decline in the intellect of Americans, but an obnoxious sense of increasing pride in being ignorant...

READ MORE | 6 comments since 2008-09-16 22:16:41 | Comment on this Article

My Angry Pills Don't Work! That Makes Me So... Oh

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Antipsychotic drugs, used for everything from treating threatening behavior to being Britney Spears, may not be doing what you think they're doing-- AND do it a lot less well than your garden-variety tic tac.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2008-01-05 15:09:36 | Comment on this Article

New Domain Purchase Scam Appearing In Your Inbox

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[Get-Rich-Quick]
There's an interesting new scam going on right now that domain holders may begin seeing. You're approached by someone interested in purchasing your domain. They ask for a price. You give it to them. They make a very impressive counter-offer, and then the fun begins...

READ MORE | 39 comments since 2015-12-17 19:18:39 | Comment on this Article

Why You Should Always Install It Yourself

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It seems that a man in Pennsylvania brought his computer in to Circuit City so that he could have a new DVD burner installed. It was when the techs went to test the new burner, searching for video files to make a test burn, that they discovered the child pornography videos on the hard drive....

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-12-26 13:53:21 | Comment on this Article

God Saves Lost Kids, Nevermind The Helicopter

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"The ordeal began Sunday, when Dominguez and the children left church and headed to the mountains to cut a tree for Christmas. Because the father had custody of his children at the time, his ex-wife did not know they were missing until she learned Joshua failed to show up at school Monday."

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2007-12-27 16:57:53 | Comment on this Article

Texas Mayor Loves His Job, Touching Little Girls

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The mayor of Poteet, Texas (population 3,305), is in a bit of a pickle. Mayor Lino Donato pled guilty on October 31st to indecent conduct toward two girls. Apparently, he was accused of exposing himself to two girls between 1996 and 2000 and improperly touching one of them, but that's not his biggest problem.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2008-10-29 08:02:55 | Comment on this Article

Teen Desecrates "Sacred" Virgin Mary Window Defect

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Angry, bored and unable to sleep, Kyle Maskell grabbed his Marksman slingshot and headed out of his foster home to destroy something that might bring him a degree of infamy that rivaled his rage, police said.

He soon looked up into the image of the Virgin Mary, the iridescent figure that had formed on the side of a glass building on U.S. 19 eight years earlier, leased by a religious group, Shepherds of Christ, exploiting throngs of believers, drawing them to Clearwater, Florida.

READ MORE | 5 comments since 2010-12-05 17:20:37 | Comment on this Article

Wal-Mart Shows Off Its Fine Cake-Decorating Skills

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My friend says, "We had a 'going away' party yesterday for a lady at our Little Rock claims office. One of the supervisors called a Wal-Mart and ordered the cake."

He told them to write:
"Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that write "We will miss you".

As the picture shows, it didn't quite turn out right.

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A Gay Prostitute, Lady's Lingerie, and a State Rep- Oh My!

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Many homosexual people feel that in order to avoid persecution by "normal" people they have to hide what they are, that they have to "stay in the closet." How pissed would you be if one of the people that kept you there had sex with a gay prostitute? In women's underwear?

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2007-11-08 23:12:28 | Comment on this Article

New Host Of The View Denies Evolution, Thinks Earth Is Flat

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If you think television is getting dumber, that might be an understatement considering the new host of the morning show, "The View" isn't quite ready to admit the earth might not be flat.

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2007-10-05 15:30:12 | Comment on this Article

At Least Senator Vitter Picked An Honest Hooker

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For a hooker, Wendy Yow Ellis (her middle name is actually 'Yow'), does not like her integrity to be impugned. When Senator David Vitter called her a liar for alleging that they had a four month-long sexual affair the year he took Congressional office, she took some offense and was looking for a way to clear her name. Fortunately Larry Flynt, the wheeled rooter-out of both unclothed women AND hypocrisy, was happy to assist.

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Fake Gods Don't Stop Con Artists

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[Get-Rich-Quick]
Want to make $80,000? It's easy--all you have to do is front $45,000, say the rosary for nine days, and build an altar to a God you've never heard of. And of course, don't tell anybody what your doing. Although considering how stupid you're being, you may want to do that last one anyway.

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2008-04-02 17:49:11 | Comment on this Article

Cops Catch Crooked Crack Customer

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A Georgia woman spent good money to buy what she thought was a quality product. After spending some time with said product, she found that it was a fake. Incensed, she called the police and demanded that they come over to take some action. Unfortunately the product was crack cocaine, and the action was to arrest her.

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Man Has His Thumbs Altered To Use iPhone

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[Eureka!]
Thomas Martel, 28, is a big guy. So he has a hard time using the features on ever-shrinking user interfaces on devices like his new iPhone. At least, he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as "whittling."

"From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explains Martel. "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless."

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-08-13 07:38:43 | Comment on this Article

Whoops! US Army Loses 190,000 Machine Guns In Iraq

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The Pentagon has lost track of about 190,000 AK-47 assault rifles and pistols given to Iraqi security forces in 2004 and 2005, according to a new government report, raising fears that some of those weapons have fallen into the hands of insurgents fighting U.S. forces in Iraq.

Ya think?

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Fugitives Turn Themselves in...To God?

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It's looking like Tennessee's first-ever fugitives safe surrender. On its first day, well over 100 people with outstanding warrants turned themselves in to designated churches across the state. But why did they turn themselves in? Did they expect God to cut them some slack for their transgressions? Why does the government need special programs to get people who want to surrender to do so?

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John McCain Campaign Co-Chair Arrested For Solicitation

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Another day, another sex scandal involving a god-fearing republican who just happened to be a key supporter of John McCain. That and the fact that this legislator had also co-sponsored bills on public sex is pretty much par for the course with these guys. State Rep. Bob Allen, a co-chair of Republican presidential candidate John McCain’s Florida campaign, is expected to address Thursday charges that he offered to perform oral sex on an undercover male police officer for $20 in a bathroom in a public park. Oh yea, this is also the guy who authored a bill criminalizing public sex acts.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-08-31 15:13:03 | Comment on this Article

Mitt Romney's "Emotion Free Crisis Management": Animal Torture

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Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney tells us a poignant tale from his past to show the American people how adept he is at "Emotion Free Crisis Management." What to do when you strap your dog to the roof of your car and the dog freaks out?

UPDATE: Animal groups are up in arms and rumor has it Romney's activities were illegal in addition to cruel.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-08-08 11:13:22 | Comment on this Article

Golf Has FINALLY Become More Exciting

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[Sports]
Florida, a state I really CAN get too much of, offers its exciting take on the relatively unexciting sport (I resisted the urge to put quotes around that, I'm saving them for a NASCAR story). A Venice, Florida man was looking for his ball in a golf course pond when he almost found his maker instead.

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Giuliani's Iraq Study Group Conflicted With Christian Aerobics

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As part of the Iraq Study Group, former NY Mayor Rudy Giuliani had a nice salary. Unfortunately he never attended a single meeting and other participants demanded he do his job or quit. He eventually quit. What was the scheduling conflict his people claimed made it impossible for him to participate? He was busy getting paid to show up at Christian motivational seminars.

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Note To Self: Don't Get Out Of The Car In Texas!

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[Psychology]
An angry Texas crowd has beaten and killed a 40-year-old car passenger after a driver injured a young girl near the site of a busy local festival.

Police said the driver of the car had stopped to check on the health of the girl, said to be aged three or four.

But when the passenger got out to see how she was, he was set upon by a group of up to 20 people before being left lying in a car park, police said.

The girl was hit at low speed and was not seriously injured.

The incident happened near Austin, Texas, as crowd of between 2,000-3,000 people gathered for the annual Juneteenth festival, which commemorates the freeing of American slaves.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2008-08-18 20:02:06 | Comment on this Article

Mr. Santorum Goes To Hollywood

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[Entertainment]
In one of the most frightening developments in entertainment since Jim Belushi's last feature film, it turns out Ricky Santorum (a man so reviled there was an internet-driven attempt to get his name intimately associated with anal sex) is in early talks about a movie project of his. Ex-Senator Santorum is working with producer Stephen McEveety, who has produced quite a few movies for another one of this country's crackpots, Mel Gibson.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-06-22 10:10:04 | Comment on this Article

Freedom Fence Not So Fancy

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James Campbell, a retired Arizona homebuilder, decided that investing for the future is important. But rather than put his money into selfish ventures that might make him or his descendants any money, he wanted to make America secure. For that noble purpose, he took out a loan and gave $100,000 of it to the Minutemen Civil Defense Corps (MCDC) to help build an "Israel-style" fence around our borders to the south (I had an Israel-style reuben the other day--MUCH more delicious than the fence). But the MCDC, which has failed to staunch the incoming tide of illegal entrants into this country, also kinda failed to keep up its end of the bargain fence-wise. The fence, which was to be made of steel tube and be otherwise Israeli fence-like (I have no idea what that's supposed to be--perhaps bearded), is in fact rather dinky and not what Campbell was promised by the founder of the MCDC, Mr. Chris Simcox. So Mr. Campbell is undertaking another patriotic act--he's suing.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-07-08 21:30:49 | Comment on this Article

Liberty University, Jerry Falwell, and Bomb-Making 101

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You might think that since Jerry Falwell has shuffled off his pudgy mortal coil and gone to wherever people like him go when they die (I picture the eternal equivalent of Newark, New Jersey at rush hour) that he can no longer cause any more harm. But of course you'd be wrong (it'd be a much shorter article, and perhaps a better world, if that were true). At the funeral a small number of protesters had gathered to signal their disgust with the likes of Falwell, which didn't sit too well with some of his students at Liberty University (sic), so they staged a counter-protest. But that didn't go quite far enough for one young man.

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Work Sucks, Get Some Slaves!

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Life is hard--you work all day to pay your debts and maybe make enough on the side to enjoy yourself on the weekend. Surely there is some way, some labor-saving device that'll do some of my work for me and leave me free to, I don't know, watch The Price is Right during the day. But what could that be? I know, SLAVES!

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2008-03-07 01:02:10 | Comment on this Article

U.S. Army Corps of Morons

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[Military]
The Army Corps of Engineers, the Keystone Cops of public civil engineering projects, continues its streak of crackerjack work. The Corps was shopping for bids for some new pumps for New Orleans' beleaguered canal system, so they needed to write up specifications for the pumps they were looking for. But that's a lot of work, what with the typing and drafts and spell-checking and all--so instead they decided to just cut and paste the text straight out of an existing catalog. You'll never guess whose catalog it was.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-05-01 12:49:00 | Comment on this Article

George W. Bush To Receive Purple Heart

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A Viet Nam veteran has come up with the amusing idea of presenting a purple heart to George W. Bush for his "wounds" from "verbal attacks". I wish I was making this up.

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Rush Limbaugh: Barak The Magic Negro

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[Pundits]
Rush Limbaugh is playing a song called, "Barak the magic negro" on air and it's causing a lot of controversy. Considering Imus' fall, you'd think these conservatives would have to be on drugs to play such a racist tune.

READ MORE | 25 comments since 2008-12-28 07:38:08 | Comment on this Article

Wait A Minute, This ISN'T Where The Child Sex Is?

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[Beating Dead Horses]
Twenty-eight Florida men came from all over the state driven by a purpose. That purpose was, of course, to have sex with young teens whom they met over the Internet. Brought by instructions delivered from cyberspace (or perhaps with the aid of Google's new GooglePervert service) they came to a house in Polk County. There they got their just reward...

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McCain Steals Web Content; Gets His MySpace Hacked

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Part two of the McCain-is-an-idiot trifecta today involves the folks behind his web presence, who created a MySpace page using a template designed by another developer, and didn't give him credit and linked content off his server. So in response, he had a little fun by updating some of the images on McCain's MySpace page..

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Tom Delay's Delusions Of Grandeur

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What happens when a Republican crook writes a book and compares his critics to the Nazis using badly researched references? Keith Olbermann has something amusing to say about it.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-03-29 10:01:10 | Comment on this Article

When All Else Fails, Blame A Mythological Creature

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A man with five drunken-driving convictions (who STILL HAD his license--thank YOU six-strikes-and-you're-out law) was involved in a crash in Billings, Montana on March 7. When brought in by police, the man did what any sensible, sober, thoughtful person would. He blamed the crash on a unicorn.

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