PATH: BS | Society | Stupid People

Freedom Fence Not So Fancy

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James Campbell, a retired Arizona homebuilder, decided that investing for the future is important. But rather than put his money into selfish ventures that might make him or his descendants any money, he wanted to make America secure. For that noble purpose, he took out a loan and gave $100,000 of it to the Minutemen Civil Defense Corps (MCDC) to help build an "Israel-style" fence around our borders to the south (I had an Israel-style reuben the other day--MUCH more delicious than the fence). But the MCDC, which has failed to staunch the incoming tide of illegal entrants into this country, also kinda failed to keep up its end of the bargain fence-wise. The fence, which was to be made of steel tube and be otherwise Israeli fence-like (I have no idea what that's supposed to be--perhaps bearded), is in fact rather dinky and not what Campbell was promised by the founder of the MCDC, Mr. Chris Simcox. So Mr. Campbell is undertaking another patriotic act--he's suing.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-07-08 21:30:49 | Comment on this Article

Liberty University, Jerry Falwell, and Bomb-Making 101

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You might think that since Jerry Falwell has shuffled off his pudgy mortal coil and gone to wherever people like him go when they die (I picture the eternal equivalent of Newark, New Jersey at rush hour) that he can no longer cause any more harm. But of course you'd be wrong (it'd be a much shorter article, and perhaps a better world, if that were true). At the funeral a small number of protesters had gathered to signal their disgust with the likes of Falwell, which didn't sit too well with some of his students at Liberty University (sic), so they staged a counter-protest. But that didn't go quite far enough for one young man.

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Work Sucks, Get Some Slaves!

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Life is hard--you work all day to pay your debts and maybe make enough on the side to enjoy yourself on the weekend. Surely there is some way, some labor-saving device that'll do some of my work for me and leave me free to, I don't know, watch The Price is Right during the day. But what could that be? I know, SLAVES!

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2008-03-07 01:02:10 | Comment on this Article

U.S. Army Corps of Morons

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[Military]
The Army Corps of Engineers, the Keystone Cops of public civil engineering projects, continues its streak of crackerjack work. The Corps was shopping for bids for some new pumps for New Orleans' beleaguered canal system, so they needed to write up specifications for the pumps they were looking for. But that's a lot of work, what with the typing and drafts and spell-checking and all--so instead they decided to just cut and paste the text straight out of an existing catalog. You'll never guess whose catalog it was.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-05-01 12:49:00 | Comment on this Article

George W. Bush To Receive Purple Heart

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A Viet Nam veteran has come up with the amusing idea of presenting a purple heart to George W. Bush for his "wounds" from "verbal attacks". I wish I was making this up.

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Rush Limbaugh: Barak The Magic Negro

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[Pundits]
Rush Limbaugh is playing a song called, "Barak the magic negro" on air and it's causing a lot of controversy. Considering Imus' fall, you'd think these conservatives would have to be on drugs to play such a racist tune.

READ MORE | 25 comments since 2008-12-28 07:38:08 | Comment on this Article

Wait A Minute, This ISN'T Where The Child Sex Is?

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[Beating Dead Horses]
Twenty-eight Florida men came from all over the state driven by a purpose. That purpose was, of course, to have sex with young teens whom they met over the Internet. Brought by instructions delivered from cyberspace (or perhaps with the aid of Google's new GooglePervert service) they came to a house in Polk County. There they got their just reward...

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McCain Steals Web Content; Gets His MySpace Hacked

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Part two of the McCain-is-an-idiot trifecta today involves the folks behind his web presence, who created a MySpace page using a template designed by another developer, and didn't give him credit and linked content off his server. So in response, he had a little fun by updating some of the images on McCain's MySpace page..

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Tom Delay's Delusions Of Grandeur

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What happens when a Republican crook writes a book and compares his critics to the Nazis using badly researched references? Keith Olbermann has something amusing to say about it.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-03-29 10:01:10 | Comment on this Article

When All Else Fails, Blame A Mythological Creature

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A man with five drunken-driving convictions (who STILL HAD his license--thank YOU six-strikes-and-you're-out law) was involved in a crash in Billings, Montana on March 7. When brought in by police, the man did what any sensible, sober, thoughtful person would. He blamed the crash on a unicorn.

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Zell Miller: Abortion Is The Reason For Our Troop Shortage

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Former U.S. Senator Zell Miller made a little news this week in Macon when he declared that abortion has contributed to the military's manpower shortage, the Social Security crisis, and the flow of illegal immigrants into the United States.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2007-08-26 07:48:39 | Comment on this Article

An Evangelical Kerfuffle That DOESN'T Involve Man-Whores

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The Vice President of the National Association of Evangelicals ("The NAE Wants YOU--If You're An Old White Guy"), Rev. Richard Cizik, somehow got the stupid idea that when the Bible says that God created the earth and then made us the stewards over [INSERT DIVINE POSSESSIVE PRONOUN HERE] creation, it means that we should actually take CARE of the planet. What a goofball. Some evangelical heavy-hitters, like Dr. James Dobson (Ted Haggard, ex-president of the NAE, was unavailable for comment as he was busy being really, really straight), have written the acting president of the NAE and demanded Cizik's ouster for his "relentless campaign" (their words) against global warming.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-03-07 21:28:34 | Comment on this Article

McDonalds- You Want Missiles With That?

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Missiles are dangerous. That's just one of those things EVERYBODY knows--from a helicopter pilot shucking and jiving over Tikrit to an eight-year-old with an XBox 360. The problem for one North Carolina woman in Virginia is what a jury can DEFINE as a missile.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-02-22 02:02:45 | Comment on this Article

Dead Twelve Year-Old A Big Problem For Bishop

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Deep in the country known as the cradle of mankind, because presumably that's where God first created Adam and his little riblet Eve (plus the dinosaurs, heterosexuality, the Ford Edsel, and all other intelligently designed things), there's trouble abrewin'. Turkana Boy, the most complete and one of the oldest prehistoric human skeletons yet found (by scientists guided by Satan, most like) is soon to be displayed in a museum (notorious showcases of factual things), but he's running into some protest from (come on, guess who) evangelical Christians.

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2 PETA Volunteers Forgot To Read The Charter

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[Activists]
The jury for two men accused of animal cruelty has been selected in the small town of Winton,N.C. The two evidently lethally injected pets and dumped their bodies in grocery store trash bins. The wrinkle in the case is that the two guys are PETA volunteers!

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-01-26 17:49:28 | Comment on this Article

"Hold Your Wee For A Wii" Kills California Woman

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A woman is now dead after participating in California radio station, KDND-FM's contest, "Hold your wee for a wii". The contestants were challenged to drink as much water as they can without going to the bathroom. A 28-year old contestant ended up dying from acute water intoxication.

READ MORE | 9 comments since 2009-11-23 05:17:45 | Comment on this Article

Let's Go Fly A Kite... OF DEATH

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[Faulty Products]
Officials in Pakistan are lifting a ban on kite flying in preparation for a spring festival that is marked by the flying of colorful kites. The ban was put in place last year not because Pakistani officials hate whimsy, but because of too many kite-related FATALITIES!

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Creepy Santa Gets Busted

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A Santa impersonator tried to kidnap an 8 year old girl on his motorcycle ("On Harley! On Suzuki! On Yamaha!") and got run down by the girl's father in his minivan. Charged with kidnapping, he's looking at a spot on the naughty list for up to thirty years.

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Buy a House, Get a Gun

Posted by wizeGurl (6953 views) Add this story to MyYahoo Add this article to del.icio.us Submit article to Reddit Add story to Furl Add story to StumbleUpon [E-Mail link]


A real estate agent in the Houston, Texas area (Texas, how surprising) is offering a new incentive to those who buy a house for over $150,000--a brand-new, shiny Glock handgun to protect it with.*

As if it's not bad enough making arrangements so that the blind can enjoy a little gunplay, now guns make the perfect Lone Star state housewarming gift. Who needs a pie when you've got a gun? You can TAKE any pie you want when you're well-armed.

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Can't See? Grab a Gun!

Posted by ueberbill (7955 views) Add this story to MyYahoo Add this article to del.icio.us Submit article to Reddit Add story to Furl Add story to StumbleUpon [E-Mail link]


A moronic Texas lawmaker (pardon the redundancy) has introduced a measure in the state legislature to allow the blind (to clarify, that is people who cannot see a damn thing) to hunt (to wrap-up, that is to allow people [who cannot see] to shoot things [they cannot SEE!!] with guns [THEY CANNOT SEE!!!]).

I guess the worst thing after not being able to see, is to not be able kill stuff. Looks like they're going to remedy that in Texas.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2006-12-16 16:13:16 | Comment on this Article

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