PATH: BS | Society | Pets

Former Farmhand Turns Beloved Cows Into Furniture

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[Pets]
Helga Tacreiter loves cows. A lot. While working for a farm she came to love the big, soft, lets-face-it-kinda-stupid quadrapeds, but most decidedly did not love watching them marched off to be separated into their component parts. So she started a cow sanctuary. Not having a lot of money, however, she needed a way to PAY for her sanctuary-- but how?

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Brits Deny Responsibility for Killer Badgers

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[Pets]
The British troops serving in Iraq want to make one thing perfectly clear: they did not introduce man-eating badgers to Iraq, period.

Locals near the southern Iraqi city of Basra have begun circulating rumors that the deadly 30-pound creatures were brought in by the British to cause panic.

And here we were thinking that a surge of human soldiers would be the way to go.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-08-15 13:40:53 | Comment on this Article

FINALLY: Beer for Dogs

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[Pets]
[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
You love your dog. You feed him premium dog food. He's got a little sweater for when it's cold, and a little raincoat for when it's raining. He has snow boots, and little sunglasses so he can look cool. His doggy bed contains flea-fighting (and great-smelling!) cedar chips, and it's designed to cushion his arthritic joints. You spend more on shampoo and conditioner for him than you spend on yourself. You buy him doggy cookies for treats; maybe in summer, you buy him some of that delicious doggy ice cream.

But you lead a hollow, empty existence. And so does your dog. Because you can't--sob!--share a nice frosty mug of beer with him. Oh, the humanity!

Until now.

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Tallest Man Saves Belly-Achiest Aquatic Mammals

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[Pets]
[Good News]
In today's feel-good story of the day, veterinarians and dolphins alike at an aquarium in China got a helping hand from the world's tallest man, an Inner Mongolian herdsman named Bao Xishun.

Two dolphins housed at the aquarium had become ill from eating plastic off the edge of their pool, and attempts to use medical instruments to remove the plastic had failed. While American vets would have no doubt immediately performed a dangerous surgery costing tens of thousands of dollars, the Chinese used their secret weapon of tallness.

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Want a Boy? Adopt a Cat.

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[Science]
[Pets]
If you've always wanted a boy, there's finally something you can do about it: get a cat, and make sure that Mommy-to-be does all the catbox cleaning. Scientists have found that toxoplasmosis, infection by a parasite spread by contact with cat feces, significantly increases the chances of having a baby boy.*

You could also just chow down on some raw beef or pork, but then you might get Mad Cow Disease or trichomoniasis instead of a boy. Plus, the cat will help chase away mice, and makes a nice face-warmer for those cold winter nights.

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Sugar-Free Foods May Be Fatal To Dogs

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[Pets]
Keep those sugarless treats out of Fido's reach. Veterinarians warned on Friday that a commonly used sweetener, Xylitol, might cause liver failure in dogs, and perhaps even kill them.

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Maryland Humane Society Forced To Return Hurricane-Rescued Pets

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[Pets]
It's bad enough for the people in the South affected by hurricane Katrina's devastation. Many had to evacuate leaving their pets behind because there was no place to take them -- very few places are pet friendly down here like they might be in the midwest. In many areas of Florida for example, dogs aren't even allowed on the beaches!

So you can imagine the dismay when Belinda Sumrall from New Orleans tracked down her two German Shephards in Maryland where the local humane society had given them to someone else, and refused to return them to their original owner.

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Spanish Greyhounds Tortured to Death

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[Mean People]
[Pets]
Y'know, some people do weird things with their animals. They like to dress up squirrels in little outfits, or marry a dolphin. You think, "These people are nuts."

Then you find out what owners of Spanish greyhounds do to the dogs that "humiliate" them by hunting badly, and you wish to God that all these guys did was dress their dogs up in funny outfits or marry them. Fill the world with squirrel-dressers and dolphin-brides, if we can just be rid of these other so-called people.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2012-12-02 11:35:40 | Comment on this Article

British Woman Weds Israeli Dolphin

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[Pets]
Speaking of animal lovers, a British woman on vacation at an Israeli resort met a handsome dolphin named Cindy. (Yes, the dolphin does appear to be male despite the name.) Naturally, it was love at first sight. And as we all know, love leads inevitably to marriage. After 15 years of making regular trips to visit her aquatic mammalian squeeze, she finally made an honest dolphin of him.

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Introducing... The Catbib!

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[Diamond Studded Toenail Clippers]
[Pets]
The CatBib is a unique, patented product that prevents your cat from catching and killing wildbirds... simply, safely, effectively, and inexpensively!

This is a product that should match well with animal psychocologist services. There's nothing like stripping your pet of any remaining shred of dignity.

READ MORE | 5 comments since 2007-07-11 15:34:15 | Comment on this Article

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