PATH: BS | Business | Merchandising | The Perfect Gift

Correcting For Bias In Amazon Reviews

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It's no secret among savvy shoppers that Amazon is a great place to research products and find the best price-quality ratio.

However, it's becoming more and more difficult to do this research due to what's called, "incentivized reviewers." These are people who provide detailed, "honest" reviews in return for free products.

One company has done an analysis of reviews on Amazon differentiating regular from incentivized reviews and produced some interesting results...

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John McCain Suggests The Perfect Father's Day Gift

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I honestly don't want to be harping on McCain, really, but this was too amusing to not post... and it may end up removed by the time people find out about it so we archived a copy here.

The best part is the product reviews...

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2008-06-09 20:22:03 | Comment on this Article

Florida Criminalizes Display Of "Truck Nuts"

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[Vanity]
The Florida Senate on Thursday passed an amendment to impose a $60 fine on Truck Nutz, one brand name for the novelty item on vehicle trailer hitches that resemble the dangling southern end of a northbound bull. The proposal would make displaying bull genitalia reproductions on a vehicle subject to a $60 fine, moving violations and points against a driver license.

Will the legacy of truck-testicle discrimination in this country never be put to rest?

READ MORE | 16 comments since 2017-02-01 10:01:16 | Comment on this Article

First Look: Exclusive Radiohead In Rainbows Box Set

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[Music]
We here at BSAlert are big Radiohead fans, so it's with much excitement we give you a first look at the limited-edition Radiohead box set for their new In Rainbows album that was sold exclusively online.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2008-03-07 01:01:55 | Comment on this Article

Fight The Insanity Of Christmas With The Perfect Gift-- Insanity

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What do you give the person who has everything? Booze doesn't last, nobody but your grandparents likes sweaters, gag gifts are not now nor will they ever be actually funny, so what's a person to do? Well, a fine upstanding tourist in Poland has the idea for you.

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When is a dress not a dress? When it's a vending machine.

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Let's say you're a young woman wandering the streets of Tokyo at night and you're threatened by some miscreant. What to do? Well, if said miscreants are dumber than a three dollar bill, a Japanese inventor has got just the thing for you. Check this out:

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-12-20 06:15:38 | Comment on this Article

Save the Trees, Support the Boobs

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[Environment]
It's a new modern environmental nightmare: disposable chopsticks. Really. China produces about 45 billion pairs of these little wooden marvels each year, to be used once and then tossed into the nearest landfill, wasting whole forest's worth of trees for a quick rice bowl and the thrill of not having to lug around your own chopsticks.

But now, environmentally-minded designers in Japan have the answer: the Chopstick Bra.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-11-08 16:10:50 | Comment on this Article

Selling Girlfriend's Laptop On EBay

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[Humor]
Hey, let's say you want to buy a laptop cheap, but you'd also like some interesting provenance behind it? Well sit down and hear the story of the spurned boyfriend's ebay auction...

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2008-08-30 14:25:25 | Comment on this Article

A Pair Of Pants To Make You Feel Dirty

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In yet another move to ensure more sleepless nights for fathers and the glee of pubescent boys and dirty old men the world over a Japanese clothing designer has come up with a pair of jeans for women that covers all the parts that matter... barely.

READ MORE | 9 comments since 2007-10-27 21:24:37 | Comment on this Article

The Soldier's Bible: In The Beginning God Created Kicking Ass

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There is now an essential tool for every soldier to take with them on their endless deployments to foreign lands. It's not dry socks, armor, guns, bullets, or cheesecake photos of their loved ones. No, friends, it's The Soldier's Bible.

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The Latest Fitness Craze: Portable/Home Stripper Poles?

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[Sex]
The web site says, "Lil' Mynx stripper poles are popping up into thousands of homes worldwide every month. Pole dancing is the hottest health & fitness craze to sweep the nation in years. This fresh approach to working out incorporates sensual dance moves and pole work."

You can even get a portable stripper pole for your boat!

READ MORE | 6 comments since 2010-11-24 05:12:44 | Comment on this Article

Former Farmhand Turns Beloved Cows Into Furniture

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[Pets]
Helga Tacreiter loves cows. A lot. While working for a farm she came to love the big, soft, lets-face-it-kinda-stupid quadrapeds, but most decidedly did not love watching them marched off to be separated into their component parts. So she started a cow sanctuary. Not having a lot of money, however, she needed a way to PAY for her sanctuary-- but how?

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Philly Mayor Waits For iPhone While Murder Rate Soars

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Philadelphia Mayor John F. Street serves his constitutients well. What's he doing? Well, up until today, he was standing in line to get the new iPhone. He abruptly ended his wait in line after a passer-by asked him about the city's murder rate.

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My Masters Thesis: The Bra Controller

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[Lonely People]
Jennifer Chowdhury attended the interactive telecommunications program at New York University, where her prototypes drew on her engineering training, her artistic aspirations and her sense of humor. Her master's thesis project, Intimate Controllers, demonstrates the much-needed merging of gaming controllers and underwear.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-07-08 19:46:48 | Comment on this Article

Video: Bush's Adoring Fans In Albania Steal His Watch?

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Bush had to travel quite far to find a photo-op of people seemingly pleased to see him. The adoring crowds of one of the remaining allies in his Iraqi invasion in Albania not only wanted to get their hands on him, but also his watch.

Watch on video as the man responsible for the security of our nation can't control the security of his wrists.

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-07-06 05:03:31 | Comment on this Article

It's Like American Idol But With Renal Failure

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[Television]
Being terminally ill is not, I think we can all agree, fun. Being confronted with one's own mortality is pretty much universally loathed, especially in the wasting fashion of most terminal diseases. You know what would make ME feel a whole lot better about the whole process of watching the curtain slowly fall on my own little play? Picking who gets my kidneys when I finally kick the bucket.

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Chocolate Jesus: My Sweet Lord

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The Easter season unveiling of an anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ, dubbed "My Sweet Lord" by its creator, the 485,460-calorie Messiah has infuriated Catholics preparing to observe some of their holiest days of the year.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2009-11-23 04:14:01 | Comment on this Article

Apple's Latest Product

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[Humor]
Steve Jobs has introduced another new product for the Apple line. Check it out.

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Looking To Get In Someone's Pants And Use Your PC?

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[Sex]
Axe, makers of that smelly alcohol-based herbicide made famous by commercials showing men being chased by throngs of women, have finally revealed the nature of their target demographic with this latest product: The upskirt mouse pad...

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2007-07-06 06:05:41 | Comment on this Article

The Perfect Gift For YOUR Sexual Deviant- Recommended By Judges!

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A New Jersey man (you know this story is going to involve the word "convicted" shortly) stands convicted (there it is) of arranging sexual encounters with two 14-year-olds he came into contact with through MySpace (the Internet-- Because Parents Don't Have Enough Sleepless Nights). He's been sentenced to a couple of years in the can, five years probation, and one of the cruelest punishments meted out by our justice system in recent memory...

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What Do You Buy For The Totalitarian Regime That Has Everything?

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Evidently Iran has been getting those e-mails telling you how cheap it is to buy surplus goods from the government and they didn't get caught in their spam filters. Unfortunately the goods it's been buying are jet parts and missile components.

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"Hold Your Wee For A Wii" Kills California Woman

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A woman is now dead after participating in California radio station, KDND-FM's contest, "Hold your wee for a wii". The contestants were challenged to drink as much water as they can without going to the bathroom. A 28-year old contestant ended up dying from acute water intoxication.

READ MORE | 9 comments since 2009-11-23 05:17:45 | Comment on this Article

New Swag - Funny, Political Bumper Stickers & T-Shirts

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[BSAlert *exclusive*]
We interrupt this web site to bring you a shameless plug... the BSAlert online store has been updated with a bunch of new, cool bumper stickers and t-shirts... be sure to check 'em out!

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2008-03-07 01:03:13 | Comment on this Article

Maybe Saddam's Noose Should Be On EBay?

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A well-known Kuwaiti businessman is negotiating hard to own the noose which hung ousted Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein to death.

Reliable sources say the businessman's representatives have asked the Iraqi Ministry of Interior Affairs to sell the rope to them.

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This Hannukah, Piss Off Your Jewish Friends

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Williams-Sonoma, those purveyors of fine food and over-priced garlic presses, have the best way for you to stick it in they eye of your Jewish friends--PORK! But you've gotta hurry--if you want to get your porcine products (proscribed by the Jewish faith) to the sons and daughters of Abraham before Hannukah, then you need to act NOW (keep reading).

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I'm Dreaming of a Porn Christmas

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Florida, the state that should probably just go ahead and drop into the Gulf already, is the site of yet another legal battle--this time over Pornaments, adult-themed Christmas ornaments. Despite having a hilarious name (and causing me to fall all over myself trying to figure out which Christmas carol to use in the title--Oh Come, Oh Come, Emanuel?), there are adults, religious groups, and lawyers (natch) gearing up to protest the allegedly offensive product.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2008-03-07 01:02:33 | Comment on this Article

Calendario Romano - The Perfect Gift For Padre

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So you're a Roman Catholic and you want to give your priest a Christmas gift? Why not give him what he's always wanted: a calendar of hot young boys from the Vatican!

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2006-12-03 11:26:49 | Comment on this Article

Mall Evicts "Offensive" T-Shirt Merchant

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[Activists]
A mall in Logan, Utah gave one of its kiosks the boot Tuesday after several shoppers complained that some of the T-shirts sold there were racially offensive and in violation of the mall's lease agreement.

The mall manager wouldn’t discuss details about the agreement, he said he asked T Shirt Ranch owner Dave Bethers to stop selling shirts brandishing phrases like “Deport Pedro” and “Speak English.”

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2007-05-24 07:58:01 | Comment on this Article

Smash My Hot New Videogame Console I Spent Days Getting

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[Activists]
We cover this issue every year when thousands of ADHD children and 30-somethings still living with their parents queue up for hours upon end to get the latest video game machine. There's something quite poetic about being one of the first people to purchase the hot new video game everyone wants, and then symbolically destroying it in front of camped out consumers. See the video...

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Child's First Tattoo Machine

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[Vanity]
The mad rush to get your children the crap they've always wanted for Christmas (this week) is on! Start them down the right path with one of these:

Open up your very own pretend play tattoo parlor. This easy-to-use tattoo maker kit includes an electronic tattoo pen and funky stencils. Using soft, safe pulsating action, the tattoo pen creates realistic, washable designs with dramatic effects. AA Batteries, Easy Bake Autoclave, and Fisher Price Gauze not included.

READ MORE | 59 comments since 2015-12-09 18:20:23 | Comment on this Article

Will It Blend? That Is The Question.

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So what do you do if you make an industrial grade blender and you want to show off what it can do? How about seeing exactly what it can blend? Marbles? A Coke Can? A Rake Handle? An entire McDonald's Meal?

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Suspiciou-licious!

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[Humor]
The Suspicious Looking Device, manufactured by Junkfunnel Labs, has one purpose and one purpose only--to look as suspicious as possible.

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Once You Go 'Plush' You Never Go Back?

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[Lonely People]
That's what it says on the web site. Wouldn't this be more realistic? "Once you go plush, talk of a social life, you hush." Plus it actually rhymes. Hey! Don't you wish YOUR woman was machine washable?

Teddy Babes™ are stuffed, plush adult toys -- the most sensual, warm, and unique love dolls ever created. Remember when you were a kid and used to cuddle up at night with your favorite teddy bear? Well, now you're all grown up, and a beautiful plush girlfriend is waiting to share your bed!

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2009-09-08 10:35:07 | Comment on this Article

Hacking Staples' Easy Button

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[Technology]
You've probably seen the commercials for Staples' office products, featuring a goofy "easy button" that their customers push which solves all their problems. Staples sells cute little versions of the button for office sheep to stick in their cubicles and amuse themselves. Some creative hackers figured out a way to repurpose the button for more evil purposes...

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Demonic Teddy Bear For Sale On eBay

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"I never used to believe in powers of darkness, but now I do. If you are willing to buy it, please let me know. I take no responsibility for what may happen afterwards and for god's sake don't keep it anywhere near children.... There are indeed things in this world that are best not meddled with or even thought about, because sometimes all they need is an opening. I'll start from the beginning, it's the only way to tell the story..."

And so begins the sordid saga of the Tennessee man who has managed to snowjob a bunch of people into paying way too much for a torn up teddy bear on eBay.

Read on if you must, but be warned, this is not for the faint of heart (or the weak of wallet)...

READ MORE | 23 comments since 2012-03-21 18:35:45 | Comment on this Article

Hollywood Is Calling!

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[Lonely People]
Your Favorite D-List Celebrity Is Just A Phone Call Away!

So your friend's birthday is coming up. What could be a greater gift than to pay to have Horshack from "Welcome Back Kotter", the lead singer from the Knack, the guy who wrote "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer", some burned out twenty-something from MTV's Real World, the Incredible Hulk's Lou Ferrigno, or Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre give your friend a personal phone call!

I always wondered what Mr. Belding from "Saved By The Bell" was up to..

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2007-04-19 22:26:40 | Comment on this Article

"Vulva": Authentically Natural Vaginal Flavour

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[Sex]
It's what we all have, no doubt, been waiting for: a cologne with the real scent of a woman. Literally.

Yes, simply shake the vial to activate the scent, and put a little on the back of your hand. Or maybe your fingers. You are a man, right? Because if you're a woman, you really don't need the artificial stuff. You've got the real thing well within reach.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2008-09-07 20:45:08 | Comment on this Article

Jesus Comes Back As Image On Sheet Metal

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Thomas Haley was unloading supplies for his job at Hardy's Hardware when he said something odd caught his eye: the face of Jesus Christ on a piece of sheet metal.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2006-02-27 18:32:41 | Comment on this Article

New Orleans Hurricane Katrina Commemorative T-Shirts

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[Humor]
The T-shirt shops on Bourbon Street and elsewhere are gearing up to exploit the destruction of the city. Check out some of the designs...

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2006-12-04 11:50:54 | Comment on this Article

Fun for the Other Girls

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[Sex]
So you say your little girl is a bit...different. She doesn't want a Barbie for Christmas, not even for the purpose of torturing and mutilating it like all the other little girls. She seems to have...other interests.

At last there's a doll for her!

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2005-12-24 12:03:31 | Comment on this Article

Buy Nothing For Christmas

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This Christmas we'll be swamped with offers, ads and invitations to buy more stuff. But now there's a way to say enough and join a movement dedicated to reviving the original meaning of Christmas giving.

Buy Nothing Christmas is a national initiative started by Canadian Mennonites but open to everyone with a thirst for change and a desire for action.

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Ritual Sacrifice of XBox360 in Front of "Fanboys"

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[Your 15m]
In response to the throngs of crazed consumers who are compelled to stand in line to be one of the first to purchase Microsoft's new XBox360, a web group collected donations, stood in line, purchased one of the new, limited, sought-after units, and then proceeded to destroy it in front of others.

READ MORE | 23 comments since 2007-07-09 07:07:41 | Comment on this Article

Wacky Japanese Inventions

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[Sex]
Hey, the Japanese are really getting fancy with the latest technology to help milk cows.

Right? That's for cows isn't it?

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2011-04-27 14:07:25 | Comment on this Article

Turn Your Dead Loved One Into Jewelry

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[Vanity]
Everyone said she was a gem. Now, just eight ounces of cremated remains is all it takes to turn your mother into a diamond. LifeGem uses super-hot ovens to transform ashes to graphite and then presses the stone into blue and yellow diamonds that retail for anywhere from 2,700 to 20,000 dollars.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2005-12-22 21:56:49 | Comment on this Article

Amazing New Battery Powered by Pee

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[Eureka!]
The first urine-powered paper battery has been created by physicists in Singapore. The credit-card sized unit could be a useful power source for cheap healthcare test kits for diseases like diabetes, and could even be used in emergency situations to power a cellphone, they say.

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Own a Piece of "The World" in the Middle East

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[Vanity]
For the uber rich who always dreamed of owning their own country, Middle Eastern construction company, Nakeel is introducing their newest development: THE WORLD: A collection of 250+ man-made islands off the coast of Dubai, UAE, in the shape of continents and countries on Earth. Prices start at US$6.8M. Get your checkbooks ready! Also be prepared for cozy temperatures up to 118 degrees F during the day.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-09-12 02:37:39 | Comment on this Article

Dell Forced to Honor Goofed-Up Hard Drive Ad

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In Australia, Dell produced an advertisement selling 250G hard drives for AUS$8.80 instead of AUS$600.00. As a result, there was a rush of orders and Dell apparently claimed there was an error with the price, but enter the Australian Fair Trading body which may force Dell to honor the original advertised price.

Apparently, Dell can usually get out of this by slapping up a "We're not responsible for mistakes" disclaimer on their web sites, and other countries honor this, but the cool Australians don't accept such catch-all liability waivers and are forcing Dell to honor the terms they laid out. Makes you want to move to Australia where they actually hold a company's feet to the fire when they mislead consumers.

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Japan Introduces Strawberry Milk Sausages

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[Junk Food]
In a bid to boost declining sales of fish-meat sausages, Nippon Suisan Kaisha, Ltd. has come up with a new flavor designed specifically to attract children -- strawberry milk.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2005-08-14 18:42:53 | Comment on this Article

Spray on Mud

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So you've been driving your escalade to and from the mall each day and you're worried about losing your "street cred?" Well, before you visit Talbot's again, why not apply some "Spray on Mud" to your vehicle to give it that authentic, "I-actually-use-my-SUV-for-the purpose-it-was-designed" look?

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2005-06-19 02:17:35 | Comment on this Article

Star Wars Merchandising Hits All Time Low

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Do you reminisce about that sexy scene in Star Wars where Princess Leia was kidnapped by Jabba and dressed as a slave, but you wish you could re-create the imagery with your dog? Well, apparently you aren't alone and the dawn to your dark days has arrived! Announcing the Princess Leia Slave Girl Dog Costume! It's just one of the many great new Star Wars-related products to be regurgitated onto the market in time to capitalize on George Lucas' latest solicitation.

READ MORE | 8 comments since 2007-07-09 06:16:08 | Comment on this Article

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