PATH: BS | Delicious Irony

Oil Company Preaches Morality

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Royal Dutch Shell, the world's top marketer of biofuels, considers using food crops to make biofuels "morally inappropriate" as long as there are people in the world who are starving.

Of course, the problem with starvation isn't the shortage of food, but how it is distributed.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2006-07-17 17:39:52 | Comment on this Article

R.J. Reynolds' Non-Smoker Protection Act

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You figure a proposed law called The Arizona Non-Smoker Protection Act would have something to do with curtailing smoking right? Especially if this bill was promoted by a group called the Non-Smoker Protection Committee.

Then again, when R.J. Reynolds is behind the whole scheme, giving loads of money to shill businessmen to promote this "Non-Smoker Protection Act" it just might turn out to be some legislation designed to reinstate smoking all over the place and limit municipalities from putting restrictions on smoking.

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Government Computer Security Expert Goes To Jail For Hacking

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Kenneth Kwak, 34, of Chantilly, Va., was recently sentenced by U.S. District Judge Royce Lamberth to five months in prison followed by five months of home confinement, based upon Kwak's conviction for gaining unauthorized access to and obtaining information from a Department of Education computer system, the Department of Justice announced.

The sentence results from his March 2006 guilty plea to one count of intentionally gaining unauthorized access to a government computer and thereby obtaining information. In his plea, Kwak, who had been working in an office responsible for ensuring the security of Department of Education computer systems, admitted that he had placed software on a supervisor's computer which enabled him to access the computer's storage at will. He later used that access on numerous occasions to view his supervisor's intra-office and Internet email as well as his other Internet activity and communications; Kwak then shared this information with others in his office.

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Major Vulnerability Found in Symantec Norton Antivirus

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Yesterday, it was publicly disclosed that users running versions of Symantec Norton Antivirus have a serious remote-code-execution vulnerability condition. No user intervention is even required. Peoples' PCs can be taken over without any action on their part. Good one Symantec! Reason #78,454,320 to not use Norton's Antivirus.

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Government Using Illegal Phone Records To ID Media Leaks

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Sources are telling major news networks that the government is now going over phone records of reporters in an effort to identify who within the administration is leaking details of the NSA's illegal record search system to reporters.

A senior federal law enforcement official tells ABC News the government is tracking the phone numbers Brian Ross and Richard Esposito call in an effort to root out confidential sources.

"It's time for you to get some new cell phones, quick," the source told us in an in-person conversation.

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All Other Problems Solved; Congress Tackles The National Anthem

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Since we're doing so well economically and militarily, the United States Senate has decided to spend its time and resources addressing the next, very critical issue facing the American people: Whether the National Anthem should exclusively be sung in English.

These guys apparently didn't notice that the national motto, "E Plurbus Unum" is in Latin.

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Right Wing Journalist Becomes Healthcare Victim

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Catherine Seipp, who has been an extremist writer for the conservative publication National Review Online, has, in the wake of her own health care nightmare, decided to rant about her troubles now that she's been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer and her insurer Blue Cross is giving her trouble.

Ms. Seipp's sordid history is not without overwhelming irony now in the face of her debacle (in 1997 she unsympathetically wrote of anyone who was offended by her writing to "Get over it!"), which seems to only be coming to light because she was unlucky enough to have the blue ice fall in her back yard.

It's really tough to have sympathy for someone who has been specifically responsible for promoting policy for decades that that has led to the problem she is now facing.

As sad as Ms. Siepp's condition may be, the saddest part of all is that if her life wasn't at stake, she probably wouldn't be speaking out against the current healthcare system. To add further irony she was worried that upon being diagnosed with cancer, she would "become nice." Well, don't worry Cathy. When you die, I'm sure there will be someone nearby to pick up the torch (and pitchfork).

READ MORE | 4 comments since 2006-04-27 16:38:32 | Comment on this Article

Campaign Photo Replaces New Orleans with Disneyland

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New Orleans mayoral candidate Kimberly Williamson Butler is not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed--or the most honest. Her campaign website featured a lovely header with a photo of Butler smiling in front of a charming French Quarter scene. The only problem was the large Disney trash can on the street, revealing that Butler was smiling in front of Disneyland's New Orleans Square, not the real New Orleans.

Once the news of the fake New Orleans photo hit the internet, did Butler run out and get a photo of the real New Orleans for her website? Nah. Instead, her staff just Photoshopped out the garbage can. Hey, who has time in a busy mayoral campaign to take pictures in the real location?

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Government Using Computer Games To Improve Foreign Relations?

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[Entertainment]
Apparently having exhausted every other medium to improve its reputation among the rest of the world, the Unites States State Department is now blowing taxpayer money on projects involving the development of massive online computer games designed to promote improved foreign relations and public diplomacy.

The Public Diplomacy and Virtual Worlds project is a research project examining one aspect of new technology and public diplomacy: the role of video games, specifically Massively Multiplayer Online Games (MMOGs), in public diplomacy.

Have any of these officials actually ever played online multiplayer games? How much diplomacy do you typically see in Halo, Unreal Tournament, Everquest or World of Warcraft? Maybe they should pick some other industry to infiltrate first that might prove more successful, like maybe the Nazi party or Fred Phelps church?

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McAffee Antivirus Goes Amok, Shuts Down Legitimate Apps

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Anti-virus vendor McAfee is scrambling to contain the damage from a faulty definition update that incorrectly flagged hundreds of legitimate software programs as W95/CTX, a low-risk Windows 95 virus that was first detected in 2004.

The erroneous .DAT file (4715) was shipped late on March 10 with definitions for a wide range of new malware threats, but when the update was installed, it quarantined or deleted several widely deployed applications, including Microsoft Excel, Macromedia Flash Player, Adobe Update Manager and the Google Toolbar Installer.

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Isaac Hayes Quits Southpark Citing "Religious Intolerance"

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[Activists]
After seeing this season's premier Southpark episode, where the Chef character, previously played by Isaac Hayes appears to be composed of edited disembodied versions of his previous voiceovers, the show's creators have made a powerful statement over Hayes' departure.

It appears, it's ok to make fun of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Abortion, Hippies, Barbara Striesand, Gays, Handicapped People, Politicians, Mormons and Minorities, but if you start talking bad about Tom Cruise and Scientology, that's crunk. So Isaac Hayes quit Southpark citing "religious intolerance", presumably over the parodying of his cult, Scientology. The result? Chef turns into a pedophile and is eaten by wild animals.

To add more fuel to the fire, the Washington Post said fans have started a campaign urging people to write, phone or e-mail Viacom threatening to boycott "Mission Impossible 3" -- unless Comedy Central reruns the episode spoofing Scientology that caused Isaac Hayes to quit. Does anyone need a reason to not see Mission Impossible 3 in the first place?

At the end of the show, Kyle said they shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving, they should be "mad at that fruity little club [Scientology] for scrambling his brains."

Our take is only fruity little people are members of fruity little clubs.

"This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology," South Park co-creator Matt Stone said. "He has no problem -- and he's cashed plenty of checks -- with our show making fun of Christians."

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2006-03-26 15:49:29 | Comment on this Article

Painter of Light Also Pee-er On Pooh

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Multi-millionaire kitsch-painter, Thomas Kinkade, whose galleries seem to reproduce like fetid rats in tourist areas, is under fire from ex-employees and business associates over supposedly un-God-like behavior. The man who claims God controls his paintbrush, and who has successfully exploited lots of religious folks via his warm-and-fuzzy distorted images of reality, seems to have a sordid past of groping women, defrauding business associates, and even urinating on Disney characters.

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Being Concerned About Security Now A Security Risk Itself?

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The second in command at the Pentagon said Thursday that people who publicly oppose allowing a Middle Eastern company to take over management of some U.S. ports could be threatening national security.

No word yet on what's the exact flavor of the Kool-Aid these people are handing out. My guess is "tutti-fruitti."

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H&R Block Gets Its Own Taxes Wrong!

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The Kansas City, Mo.-based company said it will restate results for fiscal years 2004 and 2005, plus previous 2006 quarters, mainly because of errors in calculating its state effective income tax rate. The mistakes resulted in H&R Block understating its state income tax liability by about $32 million as of the end of April, 2005, the company added.

To make matters worse, the discrepancy stems from a bunch of legal trouble the company is in over what some are claiming are unethical marketing and loan operations.

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Church Steals Microsoft Logo To Lure Converts

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A Phoenix Lutheran church has been mailing out flyers that copy the design of the Microsoft XBox 360 logo and colors to lure kids into going to church. No word if they have removed the 8th commandment from their bible teachings.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2006-02-18 19:08:24 | Comment on this Article

Anti-Piracy Organization Caught Engaging In Piracy

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[Movies]
The Motion Picture Association of America, the leader in the global fight against movie piracy, is being accused of unlawfully making a bootleg copy of a documentary that takes a critical look at the MPAA's film ratings system.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2006-04-28 10:13:39 | Comment on this Article

Microsoft To Spend Small Fortune To Appear Small

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Microsoft Corp., the world's biggest software maker, will spend $120 million a year on an advertising campaign to fight its image as "a huge American company." What size would you consider a company that employs 63,000 and whose CEO is the richest human on the planet?

In a related story, I will be spending no money to fight my image of being small. Although I won't stoop so low as to not suggest you people patronize the advertisers here so I can buy a pack of gum.

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Poetic Justice: Be Nice to Mice

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Here's a tip: never toss a live mouse into a brush fire. Karma's a bitch.

An 81-year-old man in Fort Sumner, NM, did just that recently, with unpleasant results. The mouse, now on fire, ran back to the safety of its home--also the man's home--and set the house on fire.

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Letterman to Bill O'Reilly: 60% Of What You Say Is Crap!

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[Pundits]
Fox's Bill O'Reilly appeared on Letterman's show last night, where Dave danced with "Falafel Bill" over the administration's use of bad intelligence in the run-up to Iraq, and after defending his right to be unsympathetic to a woman who lost her son in Iraq, claiming she called terrorists, "Freedom Fighters", Letterman responded, "60% of what you say is crap."

Yes, we have the video... it's a must-see.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2006-01-04 14:20:05 | Comment on this Article

Symantec Security Software Makes PCs Insecure

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A serious security flaw was announced today, discovered by an independent analyst which even Symantec acknowledges as "high risk". The flaw exists in a vast array of their security and anti-virus products across all major platforms, and could compromise PCs with no activity required of the user.

Mac users are especially up in arms over this because the Mac version of Symantec's software makes their otherwise rock-solid OSX extremely vulnerable.

At present, there is no patch for the vulnerability. Thanks Symantec!

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Bloody Serial-Killing Santa Doesn't Receive Warm Response

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[Activists]
A family's display featuring a bloody Santa Claus wielding a knife, beheaded Barbie dolls and a severed head with blood gushing from its eyes has scared children and angered some homeowners in a New York neighborhood.

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As He Rewrites History, Bush Scolds Others For Rewriting History

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[Liars]
“It is deeply irresponsible to rewrite the history of how (the Iraq) war began,” Bush scolded his critics in his Veterans Day speech on November 11. But as Robert Parry observes, Bush is the one doing the rewriting. "Bush’s argument is that he didn’t lie the nation into war; he and his top aides were just misled by the same faulty intelligence that Congress saw," he writes.

In reality, however, "the White House sees far more detailed intelligence than what is shared with Congress." Parry adds that "perhaps the strongest evidence of Bush’s proclivity to lie about Iraq came after the invasion, when he began falsifying the record – rewriting history – with claims that Saddam Hussein had barred U.N. weapons inspectors from entering Iraq. ... The significance of this provable lie to the other Iraq War falsehoods is that it demonstrates Bush’s intent to deceive."

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A Tale of Two Cowards

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The top U.S. commander in Iraq has submitted a plan to the Pentagon for withdrawing troops in Iraq, yet the call by Democratic Congresman John Murtha for troop withdrawal prompted a firestorm of attacks from Republicans, who called the decorated Vietnam veteran a "coward" and compared him to leftist filmmaker Michael Moore. Murtha called the war "a flawed policy wrapped in illusion." He recalled the situation in Vietnam when White House officials said major military tasks would be over by the end of 1965. Instead, there were 2,263 American fatalities by the end of 1965, and more than 55,000 after that date. "I'm trying to prevent another Vietnam," Murtha said.

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FEMA Sends Ice Trucks Bound For New Orleans to Maine

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Dozens of trucks, contracted by FEMA, that were supposed to deliver ice to victims of hurricane Katrina have been diverted to Portland, Maine for the time being. Nobody knows why.

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Illegal Donations Cover Defense Against Ethics Violations

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As House Republican leader Tom DeLay defends himself against various ethics/lobbyist accusations, the Center for Public Integrity reports that DeLay, is among several lawmakers who illegally accepted lobbyist donations to their legal defense funds despite rules prohibiting such contributions.

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Google Upset With CNet For Using Google To Profile CEO

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Google representatives have instituted a policy of not talking with CNET News.com reporters until July 2006 in response to privacy issues raised by a previous story. It seems last month CNET did an article on Google's CEO, Eric Schmidt, and used his own company's search engine to find lots of interesting tidbits that apparently, Mr. Schmidt didn't appreciate.

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Alabama Government Tries To Boycott Aruba

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The Alabama House passed a resolution Friday asking Alabama residents to boycott travel to Aruba, where a teenager has been missing for more than seven weeks.

No word on whether Alabama's government will ask its residents to boycott their own state, which currently has twenty-two missing children!

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2005-08-06 00:13:18 | Comment on this Article

Boy Lost in Woods Hid from Rescuing "Strangers"

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[Terroir-ism]
The ordeal of Brennan Hawkins, the 11-year-old boy lost in the woods for four days in Utah last week, provides an insight into some potential disadvantages of having one's behavior controlled by one's worst fear. Amid the general celebration at his homecoming, the Salt Lake Tribune reported: "His parents said he followed two family rules by staying on the trail and not talking to strangers. Brennan said he heard rescuers before he was discovered Tuesday, but hid, going into what his family calls "midget mode" by pulling his shirt over his knees. He told his family he had feared being abducted.

In other words, a primary reason that Brennan wasn't found earlier is that he was hiding from searchers.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2005-07-25 01:30:37 | Comment on this Article

TX Man Arrested After Rescuing Swimmer

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SAN MARCOS, Texas - A man who rescued a swimmer caught in swirling river currents found himself in trouble soon afterward when he was arrested by authorities who claimed he was interfering.

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Right Wingers Launch Iraqi "Truth Tour"

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[Pundits]
A contingent of conservative talk radio hosts is headed to Iraq this month on a mission to report "the truth" about the war: American troops are winning, despite headlines to the contrary.

The "Truth Tour" has been pulled together by conservative Web groups and Move America Forward, a non-profit conservative group backed by a Republican-linked public relations firm in California

You gotta love a group of obnoxious neo-con windbags blathering about "the truth", announcing the results of their fact-finding mission before they've even arrived at their destination. I can't wait to hear what they have to say... it should be so insightful and revolutionary!

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"Entrepeneur" Funds His Start-Up With Gambling Revenue

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Apparently if there's one thing this entrepreneur likes to do more than run his own software company, it's gamble online. This one is apparently so confident of his gambling prowess, the three employees of his startup company have been playing online poker in lieu of collecting paychecks.

Now there's an entrepeneur who will undoubtedly offer little or no risk to investors in his venture. Where do I sign up?

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CNN Calls Attention To It's Own Failure To Report News

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[News Media]
It's a shame we don't have a "cluelessness" category for this story, but one has to chuckle when CNN runs a story entitled, "Michael Jackson, Does anyone care?"

Ironically, CNN like all mainstream media, refuses to recognize that it's not Michael Jackson people don't care about, but the now-marginalized mainstream media, which still can't seem to figure out what is and isn't worthy of being reported.

READ MORE | 3 comments since 2005-06-19 02:36:37 | Comment on this Article

Entire Mainstream Media Jumps on Geneva Convention Trash-A-Thon

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By now, everyone's heard about the UK press publishing pictures of Saddam Hussein in prison in his underwear. The American media is buzzing about this being a horendous act, a violation of the Geneva Convention, and inappropriate... at the same time the American press, being the whores that they are, have re-printed the Saddam-underwear picture themselves. Yes, almost every major news organization has published the picture. I guess all you need is one company to start it, then everybody can do it and it's not the same?

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Anti-Abortion Radical Defends His History of Beastiality

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You can't make this stuff up people..The other night, anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley was a guest on The Alan Colmes Show, a FOX News radio program. The topic was over whether or not an internet service provider should allow Horsley to post the names of abortion doctors on his website. Horsley does that as a way of targeting them and one doctor has been killed. In the course of the interview, however, Colmes asked Horsley about his background, including a statement that he had admitted to engaging in homosexual and bestiality sex... according to Horsley (no pun intended), it is normal where he comes from to have sex with mules and other animals and he sees nothing unusual about it.

READ MORE | 5 comments since 2005-07-25 18:40:53 | Comment on this Article

Anti-Gay Republican Revealed as Gay Child Molester

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[Pubic Relations]
Jim West, the fiscally conservative, anti-gay rights, anti-abortion, anti-teen sex Republican mayor of Spokane, Washington has been caught with his hand in the cookie-jockstrap, as he was exposed arranging dates on Gay.com with what he thought was an 18-year-old man, offering him enticements such as trips and an internship to make it seem tempting to go out with a 53-year-old closeted politician. But wait, it's gets better...

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Newly-Discovered Slime Beetles named after Bush, Cheney Rumsfeld

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Entomologists Quentin Wheeler and Kelly B. Miller, who recently had the task of naming 65 newly discovered species of slime-mold beetles, named three species after the president, vice president and defense secretary.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-05-02 02:22:30 | Comment on this Article

MPAA Pays Off Law Enforcement For Law Enforcement

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Two NYPD veterans are being investigated by Internal Affairs for allegedly accepting payoffs from the motion-picture industry to arrest vendors of pirated DVDs.

Now you know the MPAA will stop at nothing, legal or otherwise, to protect it's own legal rights.

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Conservative Activist Has Gay Marriage

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Arthur J. Finkelstein, a prominent Republican consultant who has directed a series of hard-edged political campaigns to elect conservatives in the United States and Israel over the last 25 years, said Friday that he had married his male partner, Charlie Manning, in a civil ceremony at his home in Massachusetts.

Mr. Finkelstein, 59, who has made a practice of defeating Democrats by trying to demonize them as liberal, said in a brief interview that he had married his partner of 40 years to ensure that the couple had the same benefits available to married heterosexual couples.

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Boy Scout Leader Scouted A Little Too Much

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A longtime Boy Scouts of America official who directed a national task force to protect children from sexual abuse has been charged with possession and distribution of child pornography. On the bright side, he probably kept a lot of homosexuals and non-Christian heathens from infecting the sanctity of his organization.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-04-22 16:12:38 | Comment on this Article

DeLay: Schiavo Must Live, But My Dad Had To Go

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House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, who has helped lead a congressional effort to keep Terri Schiavo alive, joined members of his own family nearly 17 years ago in allowing doctors not to take measures to extend his father's life, a newspaper reported Sunday.

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FBI Gives Classified Documents To Man Convicted Of Stealing Them

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The FBI admitted Saturday it accidentally gave classified documents back to the American translator who pleaded guilty to taking them from the U.S. prison camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

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CNN Meets Citizen Ruth

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[Media]
As the media swirls around and partisian groups line up to take sides over the life (or lack thereof) of this person, the money and lies spread faster than spit on a hot skillet. Am I talking about the Schiavo case or the 1996 movie Citizen Ruth? As far as I can tell it's one and the same. As this media circus continues to grow to embarassingly epic preportions, and the media and republicans harp about the sanctity of Shiavo's life, Sun Hudson, a six-month-old boy with a fatal congenital disease, died Thursday after a Texas hospital, over his mother's objections, withdrew his feeding tube because the mother couldn't pay for the child's treatment. More evidence that truth is stranger than fiction?

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Sanctity of Life(tm) as promoted by mainstream media

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A popular blog, Hullabaloo has an excellent commentary on the current mainstream-media-circus over this vegetative woman Terri Schiavo whose husband is fighting for the right to put his wife out of her misery. The conservatives have turned this into a big political lightning rod with Texas Republican Tom DeLay calling the proposed termination of life support a form of "medical terrorism". But things are never simple in conserva-land with the towering monolith of insurmountable hypocrisy that bloggers expose...

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-03-24 11:35:56 | Comment on this Article

Anti-Vegan Professor Likes to Take It From Cattlemen

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[Dubious Research]
Strike One: UC Davis professor Lindsay Allen found herself amid international press coverage and the target of wrath from vegans around the globe for comments she made at a scientific conference that vegan diets for children are "unethical."

Strike Two: The basis for her "research" was on already malnurished children in Kenya according to other scientists.

Strike Three: Her efforts were funded by the National Cattlemen's Beef Association, and its publication supported by the Food and Agriculture Organization, Land O'Lakes, and Heifer International.

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Apple Sued Over DRM Patent Violation

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As companies jockey to stake a claim in the next generation media distribution medium, the current market giant Apple is being sued by a Hong Kong company claiming that their technology violates a US patent on digital rights management. What's also interesting about this issue is that the most comprehensive info currently available is from a blog, but it appears this "blog" is basically Ziff-Davis columnists renaming their byline as a blog. Is that a new trend? Maybe more mainstream media will usurp the "blog" moniker?

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Gulf War pilots tortured by Iraqis fight the Bush administration

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The latest chapter in the legal history of torture is being written by American pilots who were beaten and abused by Iraqis during the 1991 Persian Gulf War. And it has taken a strange twist.

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Moral Activist Group Peddles Smut

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Ever wonder who complains about inappropriate content on television? We've covered this before; there's basically a small group that tends to be responsible for most complaints, and also has a history of distorting the truth to condemn their enemies and make their organization appear more powerful. The Parents Television Council seems to be the almost exclusive source of riling up moralist members of the populace to petition the FCC, but what makes this group so interesting is the fact that their web site features downloadable clips of virtually everything they can find in their never-ending search for questionable material. Did you miss the scene from VH1's Surreal Life where Peter Brady goes to the strip club? Well, the moral watchdogs have it available for download on their site! Why wade through hours of mundane tv to find questionable material when the PTC has it neatly compiled for you!

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Spyware Program Disables Microsoft's New Anti-Spyware System

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[Get-Rich-Quick]
The first piece of malware to attack Microsoft's new prototype anti-spyware product has emerged. The BankAsh-A Trojan disables Microsoft AntiSpyware Beta in an attempt to suppress any warning messages the package might display. It also deletes files within the program's folder. Unlike other items of malware, BankAsh-A makes no attempt to turn off anti-virus apps. It's purpose is to intercept passwords and other important information from users' computers, specifically for banking system access.

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Symantec's Antivirus Products Become Prey For Viruses

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Symantec, makers of annoying mafia-ware anti-virus software was dealt a further blow when independent teams published a security advisory showing Symantec's products to have vulnerabilities that would allow viruses to compromise PCs.

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83-year old dead woman caught sharing mp3s

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Gertrude Walton of Fayette County hated computers, her daughter said.

That did not stop the recording industry from accusing the now deceased 83-year-old Mount Hope woman of illegally trading music over the Internet.

More than a month after Walton was buried in Beckley, a group of record companies named her as the only defendant in a federal lawsuit. They claimed Walton made more than 700 pop, rock and rap songs available for free on the Internet under the screen name “smittenedkitten.”

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