PATH: BS | PT Barnum

New Orleans Mayor Proposes Gambling As Solution To City Problems

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Mayor Ray Nagin called Friday for Las Vegas-style gambling in hurricane-hit New Orleans in a desperate attempt to quickly heal its battered lifeblood industry -- tourism. "Now is the time for us to think out of the box," Nagin said.

Wonderful news. If you haven't lost everything already, you can do so in any downtown hotel.

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Convicted Fraudster Scores Big With Best Selling Book

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[Faulty Products]
He went to prison for fraud and was ordered by the U.S. government to stop touting health products on infomercials, but Kevin Trudeau's book "Natural Cures 'They' Don't Want You to Know About" is a bestseller.

The book -- whose back cover says "Never get sick again!" and "Learn the specific natural cures for herpes, acid reflux, diabetes ... cancer ... and more!" -- has topped the Publishers Weekly nonfiction bestseller list for the past three weeks.

Ok, what is with you people? This guy has hawked every gimmicky product he could scam on people for the last decade, from speed reading courses to diet and "cure-all" pills. WTF? Who's buying this crap?

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2006-05-06 14:06:06 | Comment on this Article

Top Ten Dot-Com Flops

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CNet has an interesting article on the top 10 dot-com business flops of all time. It's of particular amusement to us, because this site is running on a server we purchased at a liquidation auction from the company listed as #5.

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Stop Your Cat from Surfing for Kitty Porn

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How many times has this happened to you? You leave your computer to grab a cup of coffee or to pay the pizza guy. While you're up, your cat Fluffy Bottom hops up onto the desk and does the foxtrot right on your keyboard. When you get back to the computer, you find that your document is full of clever phrases like "okkkklllllllllklklklklk," your operating system is now Linux, and you seem to have ordered 500 pounds of catnip from Ebay.

What you need is Pawsense, the cat-guarding software!

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We're Not Afraid?

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[Vanity]
The latest Internet fad comes in the wake of the London bombings. A new web site, werenotafraid.com has popped up encouraging people to post images expressing this sentiment.

For the bravest of visitors, the site sells a plethora of "We're Not Afraid" merchandise, including the daring, "We're Not Afraid" T-Shirt, so you can parade around the mall declaring your sense of personal security to everyone else. The site's authors have even graciously decided to donate an ambiguous portion of their revenue to the Red Cross.

Look for these peoples' next web project: WeAreNotFat-WeAreJustBigBoned.com.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-07-15 12:27:38 | Comment on this Article

Latest Obesity Gimmick: The Stomach Pacemaker

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So you're overweight and the All-Mayonnaise-Diet doesn't seem to be working as advertised? Well, fret no more, there's another new gimmick on the horizon: The Transneuronix Implantable Gastric Stimulation system is like a pacemaker for the belly. Implanted into the abdomen, it zaps nerves in the stomach to make you think you're full.

How about a device that zaps you in the head if you contemplate buying into another stupid diet gimmick?

I'm obviously missing out on the bandwagon here, so I want to announce my own new "weight loss system". It's called the BSAlert Diet(tm). You send me all your money; that way your broke ass won't be able to binge on Snackwells. Trust me, this works.

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Spray on Mud

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So you've been driving your escalade to and from the mall each day and you're worried about losing your "street cred?" Well, before you visit Talbot's again, why not apply some "Spray on Mud" to your vehicle to give it that authentic, "I-actually-use-my-SUV-for-the purpose-it-was-designed" look?

READ MORE | 2 comments since 2005-06-19 02:17:35 | Comment on this Article

"Entrepeneur" Funds His Start-Up With Gambling Revenue

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Apparently if there's one thing this entrepreneur likes to do more than run his own software company, it's gamble online. This one is apparently so confident of his gambling prowess, the three employees of his startup company have been playing online poker in lieu of collecting paychecks.

Now there's an entrepeneur who will undoubtedly offer little or no risk to investors in his venture. Where do I sign up?

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eBay, Western Union Becoming Scam Accomplices of Choice

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[Get-Rich-Quick]
Most of the online scams that are running these days involve duping the gullible consumer into using Western Union to wire money to various parties. In a new twist, ebay auctions are being set up as a launching pad for more scams using Western Union.

It's about time that people begin to realize that if someone asks you to wire them money, especially with Western Union (who does virtually nothing to help people who have been scammed using their resources), you should just say no. Stop using Western Union.

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Virgin Mary Shows Up Under Chicago Highway

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Hundreds of people are now flocking to a Chicago expressway underpass to view a salt stain some say looks like the virgin Mary. Doesn't it seem more likely if the image was legit it would be Lot's wife?

It's nice to know that God thinks the world is in such great shape he has time to manifest "miracles" of this nature.

READ MORE | 6 comments since 2005-06-18 20:21:03 | Comment on this Article

FTC: Internet Kiosk "Business Opportunity" Is Pyramaid Scheme

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The FTC nailed several operators promoting "substantial income" earnings in the "Internet Kiosk" business as being little more than Ponzi schemes. Click "Read More" to learn about the INCREDIBLE INCOME POTENTIAL that you could unlock!

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British Petroleum Exec: Texas Oil Plant "Safe" (ignore bodies)

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[Industry]
BP Chief Executive John Browne said the company's Texas City, Texas, refinery ``a very safe plant'' on Thursday as the death toll in Wednesday's explosion there climbed to 15.

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WWJSL: What Would Jesus Smell Like? Now We Know!

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You can find candles with just about every fragrance imaginable, from blueberry to ocean mist to hot apple pie. Now there's a candle that lets you experience the scent of Jesus. "We see it as a ministry, " says Bob Tosterud, who together with his wife came up with the idea for the candle. Light up the candle called "His Essence" and its makers say you'll experience the fragrance of Christ.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-03-19 01:54:06 | Comment on this Article

Bush Administration Duped by Iraqi Prostitute

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We all heard about Saddam's "torture and rape rooms" - they were among other things, the basis for Bush scaring the American people into going along with the war. Much of the marketing for this event had to do with the testimony of an Iraqi woman... the woman lionized as a brave survivor of Saddam Hussein's prisons has now turned out to be a homeless prostitute who successfully scammed U.S. officials into giving her a new life in the United States.

READ MORE | 10 comments since 2005-06-17 02:34:19 | Comment on this Article

Smogbuster Blows Big Smokescreen

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[Get-Rich-Quick]
A new "money-saving" device for your car won't clean the air or improve your mileage, but it might clean out your checkbook.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-01-27 08:22:58 | Comment on this Article

Enron CEO Using Internet to Aid Against Criminal Prosecution

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Despite the bankrupty of his company, former Enron CEO Ken Lay apparently still has some money to spend on spin. The former chairman's computer-literate litigation team is making use of 'sponsored links,' which appear prominently in searches for a word or name in an Internet search engine. Searching the internet for terms such as "Enron scandal" or "Ken Lay" will produce a page with a sponsored link to www.kenlayinfo.com, the Lay defense team "snowjob page" that purpports to offer you "The Truth" [BARF]. Lay pays 5 to 12 cents each time someone clicks on the link. Click early and click often!

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KISS groupie: Gene Simmons made me look sleazy

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[Pubic Relations]
Georgeann Walsh Ward, 53, of Chester, N.Y. is suing KISS rocker Gene Simmons claiming his VH1 special slanders her good name. In the special Simmons claims to have slept with over 4,000 women; there wasn't one that was off limits, and he enjoyed all of them. However Ms. Ward said she met Simmons at a concert in October 1972 when she was 21. For the next three years through fall of 1975, she says in court papers, they were in what she believed was "an exclusive, monogamous, romantic relationship."

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Your PC can have "dignity" for only $50,000

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Couture culture comes to the world of PCs. You say you purchased the Neiman Marcus Jeweled Mr. & Mrs. Potatohead and you still have money to burn? Well, we've got good news for you. A company called TRUVIA is introducing a line of "Boutique" PC's in the $50,000/each range. The web site states:
A TRUVIA luxury EPC has no equals, powering through the most demanding work and play applications...Most importantly, a TRUVIA luxury EPC always performs with the utmost dignity.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-01-10 01:42:58 | Comment on this Article

CharityUSA not a charity, misleading e-mail campaigns

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[Get-Rich-Quick]
A friend the other day got an e-mail, one of those annoying "save a kitten, forward this to all your friends" type BS. I decided to look up the web site that this tripe was promoting to find out a new scheme is commercial businesses exploiting charities to make money. For-profit organizations collecting money under the auspice of distributing money to non-profits? Now we have a Seattle company called CharityUSA, which really isn't a non-profit, operating a host of "charity-related" web sites as a commercial entity.

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The year's worst tech gadgets

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[Technology]
While the hot item this year was Apple's iPod, The New Zealand Herald ran an interesting story on the most ill-conceived tech devices companies had the cajones to foist upon the public. From Sony's portable music player that wasn't compatible with MP3s, to Proctor & Gamble's goofy "Sentstories" product in which gullible consumers can "play" a series of fragrances.

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"Biodegradable" cell phone which turns into a flower?

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[Dubious Research]
Researchers at the University of Warwick have prounounced with pride that they have created a "biodegradable" cell phone that can be planted and grows flowers. Of course, they're quite liberally assuming that if the plastic cover of the phone is biodegradable, then that gives them the hubris to claim the entire phone is environmentally sound.

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Israelis going nuts spreading Arafat rumors

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An Israeli media source is spewing a wheelbarrel full of BS about ailing Yasser Arafat, spreading stories that he's gay and dying of AIDs and even publishing heresay that the Palestinian leader made animal noises during gay sex. It's pretty pathetic when media fire off this kind of BS while a guy is on his death bed.

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Redskins factor predicts Kerry win

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It's true--the outcome of the last Washington Redskins home football game before a presidential election has accurately predicted the outcome of that election. When the Redskins lose, the incumbent loses as well.

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More last minute election sleaziness

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It's piling up quite high now.

An investigation by the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People (NAACP) into voter intimidation recounts a catalogue of incidents designed to suppress the black vote.

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Bush supporters believe the fantasy

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A new report titled "The Separate Realities of Bush and Kerry Supporters" from PIPA, the Program on International Policy Attitudes at the University of Maryland, suggests that Bush supporters really have serious misconceptions about what's going on in the world. They truly believe that other countries mostly support the U.S. in Iraq, that WMDs were found, that Iraq supported Al Qaeda and participated in 9/11...all sorts of things that have been proven factually wrong time after time.

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From Linux to Windows - eweek's sleazy Microsoft propaganda

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Computer industry publication eWeek is running an interesting story entitled From Linux to Windows about two goofball companies who blamed their internal/management problems on the operating systems they used and switched over from Unix to Windows. eWeek ran this sleazy article which attempts to imply that Windows was a better choice when upon reading between the lines, it's obvious the companies involved were ignorant, made bad management decisions, worked through a contractor and the whole thing is a thinly-veiled pile of pro-Microsoft BS. Slashdot has an excellent array of comments dissecting this bogus story and the dumbass companies behind it.

What's even funnier is that at least one of the two companies that "switched" to Windows has a completely screwed up web site with pathetic uptime that doesn't even work properly. Go Microsoft!

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Japanese man sells ringtone said to enlarge breasts

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Hideto Tomabechi, likely the Japanese version of Dr. Greg Cynamoun, has apparently come up with a novel new accessory for flat-chested women. He claims to have invented a cellular ringtone called "Rockmelon" which helps women grow larger breasts.

READ MORE | 1 comment since 2005-01-04 07:12:33 | Comment on this Article

Merchandisers exploit 9/11 as commemorative coin

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The US Mint is warning consumers to not fall prey to a stupid scam by some rather materialistic scumballs who are seeking to exploit the WTC attacks with a pseudo-commemorative "silver dollar" which actually isn't U.S. tender, nor a "US Government"-issued piece. Since the US doesn't seem that concerned these days with cracking down on misleading advertising, hapless morons all over the country will spend fifty bucks for these pieces of crap thinking they're actually worth something.

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